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longnightmare (original poster member #42656) posted at 9:50 PM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
We've been talking about the A (only the first one, still refuses to admit to the second). I guess I should say I'VE been talking about it, he just sits quietly, knowing everything I want to know and denying that he knows it, or telling me there's no REASON to talk about it, today is a pissed off day!!!
I'm trying, I'm trying my best to make this as comfortable and non-threatening as possible (don't ask me why) and he's still acting like I'm crossing his line or making him feel awkward! LIKE I GIVE A SHIT IF HE FEELS UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT THIS! I want to hit him in the FACE with whatever is closest to me at any given time, I can barely hold back anymore with the pathetic way he is acting! Aww poor YOU, you're getting tired of hearing about it, you think its awkward to tell me about it, GET OVER IT M*****F*****!!!
I apologize everyone, I feel a little better 
kansas1968 ( member #32214) posted at 10:21 PM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
No wayward wants to talk about it. They want to ignore it and hope it will just go away. Of course, the BS can never really heal if that state of affairs continues. Hopefully you have read many of the articles in the healing library and you need to get some good books on healing from affairs. There is a forum on this site with book suggestions. The first book I got was "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass and it really saved my sanity, that and this site. If you can get to IC and hopefully MC.
The wayward may resist MC, but insist.
If he is still cheating, or is still in the fog, about the only cure for that is a hard 180. It is scary, but sometimes it is the only way to find out if there is hope.
So sorry you are going through this, but you will have lots of support on this site. We have all been there and know the pain you are suffering. Hugs and get tough.
Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.
Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 10:44 PM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
You know what is awkward and uncomfortable? Having a spouse that will pull down their pants and plant their genitals together with someone other than you. How about the WS get a little uncomfortable before the clothes just awkwardly fall off?
Sorry we are all in this mess.
Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
longnightmare (original poster member #42656) posted at 11:25 PM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
I agree with you KANSAS, I'm trying to find out if he wants to move in the right direction with me now... its just an aggravating and devastating wait to find out.
Lovedyoumore, AGREE COMPLETELY! I'm just super pissed today, hence all the talk of smashing his nose in LOL, but maybe he should've thought about how awkward this would be to be held accountable finally! Or maybe felt a little uncomfortable having all those disgusting secrets and having to come home to me after being with someone else! OMG I'm bitchy today! Apologies
whattheh ( member #40032) posted at 11:25 PM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2014
Ask him to read "How to help your spouse heal from your affair" and to follow it if he wants to help you. If he won't try then 180 him.
First thing on his list is to tell you the truth and answer all your questions. No more secrets or this isn't going to end well.
Retired & now in 60's-M 39 Yrs-DD 2013-TT for 3 yrs (new details incl there had been 3 more MOWs)--all this started with porn use for mid 50s WH (felt he was possessed)~~Cheating and aftermath is huge time waste with high opportunity cost~~
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