Your kids are grown, so it's not like you need to talk to him about visitation, splitting the cost of braces, or new school wardrobes for your kids. At this point, all your communication can be done between your lawyers - I'm assuming you've been to a lawyer and started divorce proceedings so you can protect yourself financially?
He made his bed, now let him lie in it. But that doesn't mean he has to drag you down into his slimey new life, too.
Giddy, he's fired you as his wife. He left you to go live with his GutterTrashHo. And the OW is going to take him for ALL he's worth. You need to protect your assets because he is already spending YOUR money on HER. 1/2 of all the money that he is using to finance his rainbow-fart land-o-glory is yours, so in essence, YOU are being ripped off. That has to stop. Immediately.
He's angry, because he f-ed up and has to blame it on someone. And that person is you. Because he's too much of a coward to admit that he let his lower head do the thinking and now he's facing the consequences of losing his family, his lifestyle, and everything else that he's worked for all of his life, for a woman that will have to be buried in a Y-shaped coffin when the stake is driven through her non-existent heart. SOMEONE has to be blamed, and since it couldn't possible be him, it has to be you.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
[This message edited by Giddy at 2:38 PM, March 12th (Wednesday)]
It is very hard for a WS to accept what they have done - to be honest with themselves - it is so much easier to blame the BS.
It makes it easier when their is an OW telling him he is great - she too is transferring her guilt and shame.