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Wayward Side :
Separation and Progress

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 BrokenButTrying (original poster member #42111) posted at 5:22 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Over the last few weeks BH and I have been sorting out our separation. I have always been supportive of his need for space. He says he needs time on his own to heal and to establish a baseline for his emotions.

He will be taking a posting in a different area in six weeks time. In the mean time he will live in single accommodation just up the road from our home. At some point in the next few months I will move, with the children, closer to my family and nearer to BH's new posting. That's was the plan.

Monday was the day he moved out. He packed up his stuff and although I was upset, I held it together and only expressed how sorry I was for being the cause of a situation where he had to move out away from his kids, that I knew how difficult this decision had been for him.

After he left I kept busy, tidying and putting the kids to bed.

Four hours after leaving he burst through the front door (gave me quite a scare!) He strode across the living room and broke down in my arms. We talked for hours, very honestly and openly, both sharing our fears and our hopes. He spent the night and has been round a lot since, he seems to want to be here.

Before Monday evening we had been in limbo since Dday. We're not anymore, BH decided that his goal is now R!

Overwhelmed doesn't even cover what I've been feeling the last few days.

We're taking this slowly, he is still going to live in the single accommodation but we're going to spend weekends together, doing stuff with the kids. BH says if he continues to feel the way he does at the moment, we will move to his new posting as a family and begin R.

I am not naive, I am aware he could still change his mind. I know that R is a gift, I will forever be grateful that he has even decided to work towards it. I realise that if we get to R then that's when the hard work starts but I'm ready, I'm committed.

We're separated now, each working on ourselves but we have a common goal, to be together and to R.

I am humbled by this man, he has been in hell the last few months, a hell that I created for him. I know I am undeserving of the gift of R but I will not let him down. He has admitted that he has not behaved well at times and has let anger take over but he feels more in control of himself now.

Here's to laying new foundations.

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

posts: 1363   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 6720286
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Prayingforhope ( member #41801) posted at 5:28 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

That's a really wonderful update and it was nice to read. The journey is long but that seems like a great step towards a committed R on both your parts. Good luck!

WH 41
BS 40
D-Day Oct 28th, 2013
Together 18 years
Three amazing boys 12, 9 & 6
Praying for hope daily

posts: 260   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2013
id 6720296
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LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 5:34 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

That's a really great update. Best of luck, and I hope things continue to work out positively for both of you.

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 6720304
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Sparkle0504 ( member #40379) posted at 5:35 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

BBT what an uplifting post. So happy to see you moving forward now and in such a positive way.

Peace and light to you

Me 52 (BS) Him 60 (EXSAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
I'm done. Separated.

Time is always right, to do right. (Dr Martin Luther King)

posts: 396   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2013   ·   location: England
id 6720306
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MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 5:37 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

That is excellent progress. Good for you!

44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....

posts: 7497   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2009   ·   location: So Cal.....
id 6720314
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 BrokenButTrying (original poster member #42111) posted at 5:56 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

Thanks guys! Things feel very positive at the moment.

BH and I had a great day today. We didn't do anything special, just hung out, watching Prison Break on Netflix and playing games with our youngest son. It was just so relaxed and fun, a bit flirty between BH and I too, which was nice.

The sun is shining and it's starting to feel like spring, amazing how much nice weather can lift your spirits.

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

posts: 1363   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 6720345
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Wayflost ( member #41583) posted at 5:59 PM on Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

That's so great to read! I hope you two are able to continue down the path of R so healthily together.

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly."

posts: 762   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2013
id 6720351
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mrs7 ( new member #42505) posted at 1:41 AM on Friday, March 14th, 2014

YAY!

Love this! Here's hoping to a wonderful new start to your relationship - one built on honesty and trust.

Me -WW - 49
Him -BH -45
DD - 1-21-14
no children together
M - 3 1/2 years, together 7

posts: 46   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2014   ·   location: CO
id 6722290
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Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 2:11 AM on Friday, March 14th, 2014

This is a nice post to read. I'm happy for you!

Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again

Staying together for the kids

D-day 2010

posts: 6490   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 6722307
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bookjunkie ( member #39033) posted at 3:16 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2014

That is just awesome! Hope things continue on a positive path for both of you!

WW 43 (me)
BH 45
Married 24 yrs
3 kids
DDay 2/10/13 Confessed
Reconciling

posts: 82   ·   registered: Apr. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Southern USA
id 6722824
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