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Good things about them being out of our lives

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NeedsHope posted 3/12/2014 12:07 PM

Hi everyone.

I am a person who likes lists. As today is what would have been my anniversary with the ex, I have to list reasons why it is a good thing he's gone. I am very much of the fake it until you make it camp. I may cry before the day is over, I may cry before I'm even finished with this post, but I am going to move on as best I can. Is it wrong to wish a pox on him for today, a bout of unexplained itching, nerve pain and pustules in his nether region that lasts until midnight tonight?

Ok so here is my list. By no means exhaustive, but something for me to look at and remember that he did me a favor by abandoning me. I'm sure as time goes on I will have more to add but here goes...

I don't have to deal with his pissy moods or wonder what will piss him off next.

I don't have to deal with his drama/problems/issues.

I don't have to deal with his shitty friends (and family).

I don't have to figure out if he's lying anymore.

I don't have to find out another lie/ lie by omission.

I don't have to wonder if he's really working when he says he is.

I don't have to hear his phone/email go off and wonder who it is.

I don't have to turn down men who asked me out because I was committed/loyal/faithful to him.

I don't have to be hurt by him anymore(unless I go looking for it )

I don't have to look at someone who can lie to me so easily.

He will inflict his particular brand of craziness elsewhere. One hopes. One knows.

I don't have to give my heart/love/time/attention/prayers/hope/dreams/life to someone who didn't appreciate me.

I don't have to waste anymore time on him.

I can fill my life with people who genuinely love me, not pretending to do so.

My hope is that one day (soon please because I am tired of crying) I can look at it and thank God I don't have to deal with him anymore. Feel free to chime in with your own.

norabird posted 3/12/2014 12:12 PM

I love this list. Every last item is so true and a much-needed reminder for me too!

You will get through today tears or no and be stronger for it.

Williesmom posted 3/12/2014 12:13 PM

I made a similar list during my D. I had to stop when I got to 60 items. I could have kept going, but wore myself out.

It helps to see it all in writing as to how big of a jagoff they really are.

NeedsHope posted 3/12/2014 13:15 PM

norabird: I feel like there is a script for them and their lies so someone else can benefit from looking at what we gain from them leaving. We have to look at the flip side. They are not that smart if they can't see what they threw away. I hope I get stronger. I am seriously tired of crying and I never seem to know what will set me off. I am sick of it. It is starting to make me mad

Williesmom: My list is longer than this. I got tired of typing it out. It is so funny that you called your ex a jagoff, that is my ex's favorite thing to call someone. Turns out he is one himself. He needs a name. Sir Jagoff? King Jagoff?

norabird posted 3/12/2014 14:07 PM

Closest I could find

DragonBunker posted 3/12/2014 15:05 PM

For me-

I don't have to tread on eggshells and worry about his sudden sulks and rages.
I don't have to panic about the children being noisy
I don't have to feel like a second class citizen
I don't have to experience the humiliating games he would play- like "oh, I really wish you would dress up in lingerie for me" and then being totally ignored when I do!
I never need to panic that my housekeeping skills aren't good enough. In fact, I let them slide into almost nothingness, because I can!!
I never get used as a pawn in his cruel mind games
I can dress how I like
I don't have to flinch when I get hugged
I don't have random wrist bruises to explain away anymore
I don't cry myself to sleep

NeedsHope posted 3/12/2014 16:15 PM

norabird: . He is full of poop so still appropriate.

DragonBunker: ((hugs)) Those are great reasons to be thankful he's gone. What they've done still hurts but it puts things in perspective. You don't have to deal with those issues anymore. Healing to you and your family.

MadeOfScars posted 3/12/2014 16:41 PM

Since I'm still "technically" married, this is my 9th wedding anniversary today. It has been tough, so thank you very much for this list. It does help

[This message edited by SoulHurts at 5:49 PM, March 12th (Wednesday)]

Williesmom posted 3/12/2014 17:54 PM

How about "uber-Jagoff"??

Lyonesse posted 3/12/2014 18:12 PM

Is it wrong to wish a pox on him for today, a bout of unexplained itching, nerve pain and pustules in his nether region that lasts until midnight tonight?

Why stop at midnight tonight? I wish it for him eternally.

StillLivin posted 3/12/2014 18:14 PM

I will never again feel like my love/efforts just aren't good enough!

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