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Newest Member: NumbEmptySad (61504)

User Topic: Update on weekend trip
♂ 42047
Member # 42047
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took my weekend guys' golf trip this past weekend. Some folks here suggested that I not go. I did offer right up until the last day to stay home. BW was insistent that I go. In fact, she said she was happy for the time alone with the kids. I honestly, deeply feel like going was a good idea.

The trip was really good. I got to talk to my best friend about my life and recovery and the A for a good while. I sent flowers to my BW office and left notes around the house. I checked in a lot. I behaved myself the entire weekend. She said that she checked in on my cell phone location from time to time, and I was right where I said I'd be. I did not drink too much.

There was one evening where I noticed a change in me. The rest of the guys were carrying on at a bar. I really didn't feel included, and didn't want to join in. Instead of feeling detached and sulking about it, or drinking too much to try to "get in the mood" to join in (I would have done one or both of those things before), I just left. I went back to the room before I felt any sort of uncomfortable or resentment. I stopped well before I did something that even put me in the direction of danger. In fact, the eight hours of sleep I got (as opposed to the one hour my buddy got) helped me play really well on Sunday

I think that the weekend ended up being really good for both me and BW. The more normal things that we do, the closer normal seems to be, IYKWIM. I wanted to give an update, and give thanks for all of the advice.

Me: WH (40s)
DDay 11/03/13
In MC and IC

Posts: 911 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Pennsylvania
♀ 42111
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, March 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great, SR! Glad you had a nice time and the trip was a positive experience for both you and your BW.

It's good you can see the difference between the 'old you' and the 'new you', it's moments like that which let you know all the work you're doing on yourself is paying off.

Great stuff!

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

Posts: 1363 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to hear it. These can turn into trust building exercises if you make good choices, keep the transparency, and use the time to learn about appropriate ways to conduct yourself while away from your spouse.

Thanks for the update.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

Posts: 29076 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Darkness Falls
♀ 27879
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, March 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad to hear it turned out well for both of you!

WS, 5-month EA/PA '09-'10

Divorced from (2010) and remarried to (2014) XBH

1 1/2-year-old daughter and another baby girl on the way

Posts: 4500 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Central Florida
Topic Posts: 4

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