kryvan, welcome to the club you never thought you'd join. In your first post as a Wayward, you're minimizing and justifying your infidelity. Like I said, welcome to the club!
You stated it was wrong, yes, but I'm not sensing that you're remorseful. Not toward your husband, anyway.
I should have spoke to my H about how I was feeling. But how do u talk to someone who doesn't want to listen to u or doesn't care?
Why are you with someone who doesn't listen to you or care? Looking back at your older posts, you pretty much said you stayed for financial reasons. And you had a second child together, even though you were clearly miserable.
It's time for you to start taking responsibility for your life, and being authentic. Unfortunately you've got a much tougher row to hoe now, because you relinquished the moral high ground. You think he didn't listen to you or care before?
I'm sorry you're in this position. Every Wayward can relate to feeling unhappy in the M. Including your husband. Maybe your husband is a disrespectful, uncaring jerk. So what? Staying with him is your choice. Quit blaming him for your unhappiness. Own it. Should you have D instead of having a second child together? Looking back...yeah, maybe you should've. And the outcomes of that choice, good (your beautiful DD) and bad (years of hurt and resentment, which just exploded) are 100% yours to own.
Beating yourself up now isn't productive, and that's not what I'm suggesting. Decide what kind of life you want to live, and go get it.