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Interesting article

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Kajem posted 3/13/2014 04:27 AM

I have friends who follow this practice.

Makes me wonder if this is a way to stay off the slippery slope?

stronger08 posted 3/13/2014 04:42 AM

It seems like a very extreme method to be. But whatever works for you I guess. In reading the article I kind of got the sense that the writer and the subjects simply did not have enough confidence in themselves to simply follow a monogamous lifestyle. Lets face facts here, people need to interact with one another. Be it same sex or opposite sex interaction. Avoiding certain situations simply for the sake of not trusting oneself stinks of self doubt to me. And IMHO I think one of the best parts of a healthy relationship is to extend trust to your partner. Granted after being cheated on I have zero tolerance for those who betray that trust. But the trust needs to be extended because what's the point of being with someone, let alone married to them if there is no trust. To me a person who behaves this way would throw up a big red flag in my face. How can you trust a person who has none in themselves ? Just my .02 cents.

absolut posted 3/13/2014 06:21 AM

I thought that was beautiful, it's nice to see that kind of commitment.

Sad in AZ posted 3/13/2014 07:30 AM

I'm with stronger on this, but I know there are a lot of people on these boards who think this way. To each his own.

MinorBee posted 3/13/2014 08:42 AM

My father was a minister, and so are the couple written about in this article.

I think their decision to live within these rules is an admirable one, but not because they do or don't have trust issues between each other. People in ministry are easily available targets for unstable people and the gossip they can spread.

This rule prevents a lot of potential mind fuckery from even starting. A dangerous person doen't have to be an AP to want to mess up the life of someone who probably attempted to help them before they became a target.

Chrysalis123 posted 3/13/2014 09:09 AM

People in ministry are easily available targets for unstable people and the gossip they can spread.


As I read the article I was thinking ministers and other high profile professions are ripe for people who want to hang on the coat-tails or worse.

Weatherly posted 3/13/2014 09:33 AM

People in ministry are easily available targets for unstable people and the gossip they can spread.

I think that is a big part of this. I think it is a great rule, to "avoid the appearance of evil". But, I don't think it is always necessary.

H works out of town Mon-Fri. A very small percentage of the time, he works with women. (We actually just spoke about this lol) and, I don't see a problem with him getting dinner with a co-worker.

However, I wouldn't tell other people to do this our way, or that they are doing it wrong. You do what works for you and your marriage. I don't think it shows trust issues.

Leia posted 3/13/2014 10:18 AM

A good friend of my just happens to be the minister's wife. We actually just talked about this recently....there was some sort of conference that her husband and a female colleague had to attend a couple of hours away. Her husband made the colleague drive separately to avoid any hint of scandal. This minister won't counsel a female alone, without the door open and his wife/another secretary sitting in the outside office to avoid any hint of impropriety. It is the way they choose to live as well, and I think it is a gift they give to their marriage. In their case, it isn't about trust of one another. It is more about them "walking a line" that is good/moral/Godly and the rules that they follow every time so that there couldn't be any hint of scandal. The absolute thing they don't want to do is to embroil their church in any sort of scandalous accusations. I really respect them for this choice.

Ready_to_run posted 3/13/2014 12:01 PM

Stronger, I don't feel like this is about not trusting yourself or each other at all. But more a selfless act to show 100% commitment to the relationship. Kudos to this couple!

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