SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Another snow day. 90% of them fall on my days with the kids. Thats the breaks. EW wins again. Fortunately, for another week I can blow off work. But. i am getting a new job and I will need help on snow days. I know I will make it and figure it out, but EW has her whole family here and bfOM to bail her out whenever life gets tough. I agreed to move here and give up a promising career for the kids. Luckily, I finally got a fair job starting in a week or so that gets me back on a career path. I am grateful for that.

Unfortunately, I also need more CS and EW is not happy. We see the judge in a few weeks and I am pretty sure I will get more - enough to enable me to pay for sitters etc when this situation arises again. But at what cost? I think EW will eventually calm down but it is so frustrating that she still sees me as the guilty party. Why cant I just do what she wants, support myself and the kids 100% and leave her alone? I wish she could 'walk a mile in my shoes' and accept that her actions have consequences beyond me. That she actually caused this situation and I am just looking out for the kids. Oh well.

Plus I'm giving up chewing tobacco and still grieving my first relationship post divorce. A lot to chew on. No pun intended.

I struggle to keep my head up, be positive, and be grateful for the positives. All aspects of an overall improved quality of life made possible by D. I am thankful. But it is hard.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Don't think that you're alone. I have a job opportunity and no back-up, either. I'm working on finding someone who can babysit/nanny for the summer so I can go back to work. I'm not D yet, but when STBXWW is out of my life except for kids, I expect that things will turn around. Still, getting those action plans in place is very stressful.

Thanks, Leia. it helps to know there are others. May the Force be with you:)

Why cant I just do what she wants

Because she's selfish and immature. It's what got you in the predicatment you're in to begin with. Even if you basically co-parent with her well, it doesn't change this simple fact.

Do you have neighbors with kids the same age? You could try pooling snow day resources/care with them, maybe alternating back and forth.

My neighbors are all old or have infants. My friends all struggle with two working parents. I have difficulty reaching out to folks for help. I need to get a sitter who can be available with short notice. I know it takes a village I just struggle with initiating that help. I know its gender bias but i wonder if it is harder for men to do that. Especially b/c it is typically women who. i would be reaching out to.

Either way, I know a lot of people have it much worse and I only have these issues 1/2 the time, but sometimes the weight is very heavy.

I feel your pain... it really is hard to reach out. I also moved because the dooosh wanted to leave our home state. And now I am here alone, trying to juggle going back to work full time with kids and schedules and with NO help from anyone - certainly not the doosh.

To complicate things even more, only one child actually sees their dad. My girls have nothing to do with him, so I am now a full time 24/7 parent.

Hang in there, and reach out for help. I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life who are willing to help when I need it -- but I have to ask for the help. They don't read minds.

Are/were you close to her family? Why can't they take the kids for you too?