SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

So I met a guy at the local warehouse club store. I was in the children's clothing section, he was looking for something for his nephew, and he asked me for some advice about what would be good for a 2 yr old boy. We chatted a little, compared batman vs. elmo pajamas, etc. I could tell he was kind of shy. He was cute, quiet, nice, and he had kind eyes I thought. He asked if I was single, and when I said I was, he asked if he could take my number, and I gave it to him. We chatted a little more before I left to check out and get home before DD was due to arrive home.

That night he texted me and asked if we could get together to meet that week. We figured out that I work the day shift, and he works the afternoon shift, so the weekend would be better. Weekends are better for me anyway regardless of his work schedule. It was left open with no definite plans made.

That was Sunday night, and I have not heard from him since then. What do I do?

Is this a case of "He's just not that into you" or he's no longer interested? My brother says definitely do not contact him, and if he wanted to contact me again, he would. I'm torn. While I agree with the above, he was kind of shy, so maybe he chickened out? I'm kind of disappointed too, I was looking forward to meeting someone who seemed nice.

Should I do anything or let it drop? I'm so clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. What is proper protocol? HELP!

First of all, Yay!! Good for you.

Secondly, It's only Thursday noon....so I would give it a bit more time. You told him that you were open and single. I think the ball is in his court right now.

Keep us posted.

You told him that you were open and single. I think the ball is in his court right now.

That's kind of what I was thinking.

It is only Thursday, but if you haven't heard anything by this time tomorrow, I'd text him something upbeat like, "Hi, I'm starting to make my plans for the weekend. When did you want to get together?" and see if/how he responds. That way it doesn't sound like you are waiting around with nothing else to do, but at the same time you get an answer on whether he is interested or not. Unless a negative response or a no response would really devastate you, what have you got to lose?

Of course, this is just me and what I would do, because I personally hate feeling like "I wonder what would have happened if I would have been braver, bolder, etc etc..." I'd rather take the risk and know, than wonder later. But that's just me.

Do what feels right and know that however he responds, YOU are awesome.

If a guy wants to get with you, he will get with you. Do not text him again.
He may be busy over the weekend, he may have a few people he is juggling. No way to know.

If i were you, i'd make other plans.

If he contacts you, then happy surprise.

Ball is totally in his court. As frustrating as that may be. But if wont even do the work now, he is not a good match for you.

ehhhh….I'm with the "give him a little encouragement and see what he does" court.

I'd go with the, "I'm making plans for this weekend, are you still interested in getting together?" It lets him know you are interested, just in case he is a little uncertain.

He DID approach you, he DID text you.

If he doesn't respond, then you have your answer.

Sparkysable!!! How awesome!

And how nice that he isn't gay. Oh wait, that's my domain.

I personally would not text him. He knows what the deal is. He was the one who approached you, so if it's important enough to him, he'll get in touch. But, this is me we're talking about here, so take that advice with a grain of salt.

Keep us posted so that we can live vicariously through you!

And how nice that he isn't gay. Oh wait, that's my domain.

Only YOU would meet a guy who turned out to be a gay hollywood actor!! I'm not so lucky as you . I just meet an apparently normal straight guy at BJ's. How boring my life must be compared to yours!

He WAS kind of cute, and he was 4 years younger than me. Such a cradle robber I would be!! .....if he ever calls me.

Damn! I'll be so disappointed if he poofs.

Alright...guy chiming in. I disagree with ALL of you that say "next" him. We are adults now this isn't high school. We have only so much time in our days and so much time left on this planet. In no way would I, if in her shoes, pass on a guy that at first glance meets my interest and qualifications. He's shy and you know that. I guaranty he's probably sitting at home scared to death about texting you again because of rejection. I say throw him a bone and text him yourself. Let him know you're free this coming weekend and was curious if he was still interested in getting together. If he declines then game over, erase his number, no harm done.

I don't know where many women on here expect to meet a guy. Most bash OLD. Now a nice guy gets the courage in a store to ask if you're single and your number? Wow...don't know if I would ever have the courage to ask that myself. At least with OLD I generally know they are single already. Well at least they are supposed to be.

Hmmm, if it were me, I'd ask once as a follow up/reminder, then that's it!! No more contact from my end. If a guy wants to see a gal, he will do everything in his power to make it happen. Mark my words.

SeanFLA I definitely appreciate the guy perspective here!

I think it was definitely pretty brave of him to do. He surely risked rejection right to his face. Plus, he said it so quietly I had to ask him to repeat himself because I didn't hear what he said! You think after that, he's still sweating texting me again? I won't be a loser if I text him and ask if he's still interested in getting together this weekend?

I would send a text about something that happened today, something you read, basketball? something that you might chat about and see if he responds.

Reaching out if he is shy lets him know you are friendly. I don't know that I would do the "so what are we going to do this weekend?" route...

One more option to consider!!

I agree with SeanFLA here. Text him once and see what happens. If you get a reply, great, if not, no harm no foul.

I'd send a quick text him and see what happens.

Ask him out....

I’d follow up today, tomorrow at the latest. You are still interested but your time is valuable. It’s better to make that clear in advance than wait too long and have a new dilemma when he contacts you last minute. If you fill up your weekend you get the message across that your time is valuable, but in a passive aggressive manner, which doesn’t convey any interest. If you leave your weekend open your interest is clear, but you look like a doormat.

Best to be direct and demonstrate how you prefer to be treated. He will have plenty of chances to show you how interested he is as time progresses. Honestly at this stage, you’ve only just met, how interested could he be? You need a little interest on both parts to keep this moving forward. Neither one of you should be all in yet.

Did he end up getting his nephew something? Maybe text him to ask if his nephew liked it?

I like Whalers idea!

so what did you do??? (living vicariously through my NB peeps)

I'd go with the, "I'm making plans for this weekend, are you still interested in getting together?" It lets him know you are interested, just in case he is a little uncertain.

He DID approach you, he DID text you.

Absolutely! He has taken the initiative twice to ask you out and then follow up with the first text. I don't think you are being too bold at all by texting, "Hi! I'm making plans for the weekend, do you still want to do something this Saturday." (or however you want to say that)

I definitely think its throwing a shy guy a well deserved bone... he approached you, asked for your number, and texted you first. I'm pretty sure he likes you & wants to get to know you better

Also, he might be the type who makes plans Friday afternoon or even Saturday morning.

You need a little interest on both parts to keep this moving forward.

Yes!