We're here for you. Keep posting.
lots of hugs for you and your kids.
True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.
Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.
Good for you for standing up for yourself. That's hard & scary. It's a huge thing, really. Keep up the good work!
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
He said I was acting like a child and just running off instead of making plans and doing it "the right way"
your doing this all wrong baby
your doing this all wrong baby
I think what your WS is really saying is, "Do it my way"
No, do what you need to do. Do it your way.
It really is very difficult. Sadly, there are some WSs that make it even worse.
(((kate0421))) Wishing you strength.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
So . . . what if you, side by side, make a list of "WS's Way" and "BS's Way"? WS wants what? What does he consider right? No MC, no IC (an assumption I'm making since he considers therapists "quacks"). What else? Living together? Physical intimacy? Rugsweeping? This particular post doesn't say much, so I don't know. But you do know (or could ask him) what his "right way" is.
And what is your right way? Details, obviously. MC. IC. What else? You could find where your lists intersect--since you appear to still love each other--and start there. Maybe that would mean staying at your grandmother's and going on dates? Maybe with a couple months of carrying out your joint "right ways," he'll be more willing to experiment with your list and less insistent on clinging to his? If nothing else, comparing the two lists might prove illuminating to one or both of you.
Good for you for making that a dealbreaker, and good for you for sticking to it right now. IC or MC is the bare minimum a WS should be doing, and if he won't even commit to that aspect....well, I think that drawing your line in the sand right here is saving you many more potentially sleepless nights down the road.
I'm sorry that you're hurting.
"Look, as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgments. Everybody judges, all the time. Now, you got a problem with that, you’re living wrong."
I am so sorry that you are dealing with his unwillingness to give you what you need. Did he explain what he was feeling regarding the therapy session?
And what is your right way?
I would love for him to do IC but I told him I was okay doing MC and him doing some soul searching through self help books and such. The last few weeks I have brought up talk about a trial separation. its what I really felt would of helped both of us. to really put things in perspective and go from there. Still have our Sat night date night. but his response was no, he said he wasn't going to sit around like a fool while I go out " to find someone better than him" and him just wait around to see if he is second choice.... this made me soo livid, I couldn't believe that he would even think that way about me. like as if my priorities are to just find anybody to be with. no thanks I would rather be alone.
my grandmother just told me she answered the phone last night and talk to him. He told her that he doesn't want to "expose" himself to some stranger. She even said that he is afraid to face himself. she isn't making things easier for me by telling me Im making the wrong choice. that I just need to find peace and crap. then the next sentence out of her mouth is, but ill support you with what you decide...