It is wonderful that you have resolved to reconcile with your BS. It is hard work that requires thoughtfulness, humility, vigilance and perseverance. I wish you all these qualities and more. I also know that it is important to always ask your BS how she feels about your infidelity. Apologize as often as you can and let her know that it is always on your mind. When we are silent then our BS can assume that we never think about the pain we caused and that we are not remorseful. You certainly expressed remorse in your post. Please let her know. Please seek counseling, join a support group or seek a spiritual mentor that can help guide you in finding out the whys behind what you did. Good luck in your recovery and reconciliation.
[This message edited by grains at 12:48 AM, March 14th (Friday)]