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Newest Member: W2MNL (46024)

User Topic: tough weekend coming
Virginiagirl
♀ 41656
Member # 41656
Sad  Posted: 10:35 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This weekend is a big annual event that WH has had for 11 years now. All these years it has been a big part of my life, I've been involved and all kinds of great old friends come in from all over the world to catch up and hang out.

I've been mostly trying to block it out and keep on truckin' doing my own thing, but now it's hitting me. I guess that's to be expected.

WH has invited me to come down, see people, etc. I can't do it. I am afraid I will get emotional. I'd feel like I was saying good-bye. Not that I think anyone would pick sides, but they are his professional peers, so really I am not going to be seeing them anymore. They are all part of the life I have lost now.

I can only hope that people are asking about me, thinking about me, missing me. I hope HE is realizing how important I was to him during these events other years. How I was such a part of his image. I know that line of thought does no good but it does soothe me to think that my absence is noted. I feel so sad and left out, even though it is my decision to stay away.


Me- BS-43
Him-WS-42
Married 15 years, living together 20
DDay May 2013
TT ongoing
2 kids, 10 & 15
OW- old girlfriend from High School, and now umpteen stupid groupie local ho-bags

We are done.


Posts: 180 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: utah
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Virginia))

I'm sorry. Infidelity is so selfish in so many ways.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7862 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
lost4now
♀ 21634
Member # 21634
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you!!! So sorry you are experiencing this. I have felt this way before and I know what you are going through.

It will hurt a bit and Monday won't seem like it arrives quick enough but you will get past it. Try to stay busy as best you can. Also, being with other friends or family members will keep you engaged in other activities or conversations where you will have to participate and that will help keep you focused on the events surrounding you at the time. I find that alone time just makes it more difficult.

I am sure that these people will ask about your whereabouts especially since they are used to seeing you. I am certain they will miss you as well!!!

HUGS!


BS - ME 43
WH 44
Married 20 years
DDay #1 12/28/07
DDay #2 9/18/08
DDay #3 12/28/08
Dday #4 11/18/10 (same OW)
Dday #5 8/22/12 (same OW)
2 beautiful daughters
"Love grows where it is nurtured and dies where it is not!"

Posts: 841 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: NJ
grownapair
♀ 33622
Member # 33622
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Try and stay busy and do something nice for yourself. Sending extra strength to you...Monday will be here soon.


BS - me, 38, WH - 40
Kidlets 6 and 8
DD1 - I love you but... Jan 2010
DD2 - 5 Jan 2011, booted him out
R attempted April 2011, False R
DD3 - 5 Sept 2011, booted him out again
Dec 2011 - living together as a family
Jan 2014 - separated...AGAIN!

Posts: 162 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: UK
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((virginiagirl)))


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3201 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Virginiagirl
♀ 41656
Member # 41656
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. Your responses mean so much.

Its hard cuz all my friends in town are part of the "community" too so thier weekend is full with exactly what I'm missing out on.

I'll keep slugging through. Feel better already after your feedback. And I do KNOW (in my head, even if my heart hurts right now) that he is feeling my absence. And that helps give me strength to not buckle and go visit and act like we are hunky-dory friends now, that would ease his concience


Me- BS-43
Him-WS-42
Married 15 years, living together 20
DDay May 2013
TT ongoing
2 kids, 10 & 15
OW- old girlfriend from High School, and now umpteen stupid groupie local ho-bags

We are done.


Posts: 180 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: utah
one2ndchance
♀ 14759
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You've been to all 11 of these events. I can guarantee you will be missed.

My STBXWH has something similar we did for years. Last year I didn't go. A mutual friend told me he spent the entire evening explaining to people why I wasn't there...that we were divorcing. Awkward night for him.


Me: BW 60
Him: STBXWH 62
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/2014

Posts: 486 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
Virginiagirl
♀ 41656
Member # 41656
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know its mean but I hope my WH has the same awkward moments.
Another thing that sets my mind at ease a little is that a lot of my friends who know the real story will be there. So he won't be able to get away with a sugar coated version of why I am gone. None of this "We had been growing apart and we get along so much better now" bullshit. No, we broke up because you were a LYING CHEATING sack of shit!
I like that I can hang back and take the high road but the rumor mill will do my dirty work for me.


Me- BS-43
Him-WS-42
Married 15 years, living together 20
DDay May 2013
TT ongoing
2 kids, 10 & 15
OW- old girlfriend from High School, and now umpteen stupid groupie local ho-bags

We are done.


Posts: 180 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: utah
momentintime
♀ 16394
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh he will take the easy way out, he'll say you have the flu!


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 3018 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Three cheers to that rumor mill! I'm sure you are sorely missed.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4235 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Virginiagirl
♀ 41656
Member # 41656
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I ended up going down to the even yesterday. I took some Xanax (god bless xanax!) first in case emotions started bubbling up but I felt mostly ok. Couple awkward conversations, but that's all.

One friend told me how he confided in her that it was "weird" this year. Then someone else gave him some photos from the first year, pics of us with our 2 kids (aww, so little!) cuddling together. I don't know if it was a purposeful jab (the person isn't a friend of mine, but is a nosey gossipy type) but it really got to him. He had tears in his eyes showing them to me.
Good.
Oh, and the area that I usually run is apparently a flop this year. Cuz he always assumed it was so simple and easy, so no one prepared at all. Ha. Good again.


Me- BS-43
Him-WS-42
Married 15 years, living together 20
DDay May 2013
TT ongoing
2 kids, 10 & 15
OW- old girlfriend from High School, and now umpteen stupid groupie local ho-bags

We are done.


Posts: 180 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: utah
Topic Posts: 11

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