Hi guys, you have no idea how wonderful it would be if I was allowed to buy my wife ANYTHING. A mixer, a flower, a greeting card, whatever.
Unfortunately, all of those things - gifts of any kind - are an explicit boundary she has of our separation.
This is just one more consequence of what I have done. I used to take such amazing care in buying her gifts, the perfect gifts. I would think about them for months at a time, share ideas with friends that know her well and then finally commit. I rarely missed the mark and took such pride in this aspect of our marriage.
Well guess what? She has told me many times that every gift I ever gave her were just part of my lies. Everything I was doing post Dday was "too little too late" and just "more manipulation from me", etc. etc. you get the idea.
I have read enough posts from other BS to know this is common, so for the good of what we have left in our relationship (admittedly not much), I can't break this boundary.
Some day, if I ever get a chance at R, there will be plenty of time to buy her all the mixers in the world. It would be my greatest pleasure.