So, my STBXWW tried to mindfuck me by inviting me over to her new place in the middle of a divorce related email thread. This is the same STBXWW who is coming by tomorrow to FINALLY get the rest of her stuff. Thankfully the Houston SI g2g is this weekend so I will NOT be home for that (I have family who will stand in for me). Anyway, point is its a rough week.
I think I'm a fairly decent looking guy, though no one will ever mistake me for Brad Pitt or whoever. I could be taller, darker, and a little trimmer for sure. Still, while It was not a every day occurrence by any means, I did get the occasional "look" or women trying to strike up a conversations, but since the wedding ring came off, I've felt invisible again. Not that I would have ever pursued anything (there's a reason I'm the BS, not the WS), but it still felt good to be noticed from time to time.
So, I stop at a grocery store on the way home from work for a few things. I'm in line, and I innocently just happen to turn around because I felt someone reach across me to grab the divider thingy that separates people's stuff on the conveyer belt. As I turn, eyes instantly lock. She visibly blushes, kinda giggles, and I politely smile back. She then starts making very awkward small talk, but as oblivious as I've been before in my single life before I met my STBXWW, I could just "tell."
I make small talk back, pay for my groceries, smile and wish her a nice weekend. I finish loading up and return my cart to the cart return because I'm cool like that. There she is again. She smiles and blushes yet again, gives me an awkward wave. I return the gesture and head back to my car. I could feel her eyes on me the whole way.
Some may wonder why I didn't ask her out. Well, I'm still technically married, and despite my STBXWW's actions, I honor my vows even if we're done. Also, I can't fathom putting myself there yet. Still, this woman wasn't exactly hard on the eyes, I saw no ring, and she came on to me. If nothing else, it put a smile on my face and a little pep in my step in what has otherwise been a rough week. Hope others here keep the faith alive - if good looking women hit on me, anything can happen
I totally get it. I've been dating a new guy, and I think that extra "happy glow" shows. I've been hit on/noticed the last 3 days by different men.
1. The Wal-Mart cashier told me I was beautiful and wondered if I would take him home. (umm…nope).
2. I was out with new guy at a bar, and across from the bar was a man probably 20 years older than I am. He stared at me the entire evening, even craning his neck around to look at me as we left. It was almost embarrassing.
3. I was picking my kid up from his "magic" class, and the instructor came to the door and said, "Oh, Michelle Williams (I get told that I look like her, short blond hair…), do you give out your autograph and phone number??" I just laughed at him and grabbed my kid.
But, I'm thinking…I"m 43 years old. I guess I'm not dead yet!! It does put a little pep in your step, whether the attention is wanted or not.
Too bad, you could have had another "I met her at the grocery store" story! Maybe next time you will feel ready to ask for her phone number.
It is good to know you aren't dead yet!
Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller
You're only 43, I'm only 35. Good to hear you're dating and I hope he treats you well. Still, whether you're a man or a woman, it feels good to be noticed (though I'll agree - some members of my gender can be quite creepy in how they notice).
I am definitely not ready for a girlfriend, but you never know. If it feels right, I'll know. Like I said, it's was a good way to end a rough week.
Maybe we all need some "business" cards to carry to hand out in line at the grocery store!
Haha! Well, had she had a business card, I think I'd have been too surprised to NOT take it!
I haven't yet got it in my head that guys with kids can be single. Don't task me why. I'm also not yet used to looking for rings because most of my married male colleagues don't wear rings so again I don't assume no ring = not married/coupled.
I was shopping without my girls one afternoon and I kept bumping into this beautiful man and his 2 boys in the aisles. One of the kids is wearing a batman outfit. Man smiles broadly at me and I kind of smile back but stopped when "married scumbag" comes into my head (yeah, it's too soon).
I've seen him a few times with and without his boys. He is always smiling/gesturing hello - blushing lately (ugh) no ring (I checked) but as I don't know for sure I'm not overtly friendly. I've already poured red wine over 2 married scumbags heads for hitting on me.
There's an urban myth here about a supermarket where on certain nights gay/straight singles shop and indicate their availability/preference via the position of bananas (the yellow ones!) in their trolley. This always makes me laugh as I buy bananas every week - lots of them.
Next time you bump into him comment that you've seen him with his boys there and that his wife must be really appreciative of all he does for her and see how he responds ...
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie