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User
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Topic: Update to the date- men, please?
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Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870 |  Posted: 11:47 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 |     |
I had a second date last night. He lived over an hour away, so I invited him for supper, which i shouldn't have done. We've been talking online and on the phone for a while.
I was ok with sleeping with him. However, here is the problem: he assaulted me. He choked me, and kept trying to shove his dick in my ass. I would ask him not to, and tell him that he was hurting me. He would not stop. He would wait until I fell asleep and do it again. I woke up once, and he had his entire hand inside me.
I was afraid to tell him to leave so I toughed it out until this morning.
We apparently had 2 different view of what happened because he texted me a thank you this morning. I immediately texted back that he hurt me and I didn't want to see him again. He is text bombing me as awe speak.
Guys, am I wrong? If a woman clearly expresses a boundary ( don't stick anything in my ass), would it surprise you if she got mad?
I am just stunned. This was really bad. Even with a fuck buddy, boundaries were respected. 
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7979 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA |
haysuth01
♀ 29161
Member # 29161 | | Posted: 11:49 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
HOLY. SHIT.
I'm not a man and I don't have any advice, but I just wanna give you a hug.
((Williesmom))
What a bastard. I am so sorry this happened to you.
XBS
Divorced 5/07.
DS-7! What?!
Happily remarried, B/G twins (5).
Posts: 220 | Registered: Jul 2010 |
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092 | | Posted: 11:50 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
This is awful. I am so mad at him and upset for you.
Block his number and know that this was not your fault.
Ugh. I am truly sorry. Do not question your boundaries! Of course this was beyond wrong! He is a scumbag!
Next time if god forbid anything like this happens again please tell him to leave. Do it with a phone in your hand and say you will call the police if he does not comply.
I hope you have an IC you can see to discuss this. It will take some healing re trust since you have been violated.
That asshat, ugh!!!
Sit. Feast on your life.
Posts: 4280 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC |
betrayedfriend
♀ 19785
Member # 19785 | | Posted: 11:53 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
You were raped, please report it to the police. I'm so sorry this happened to you. ((WM))
I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.
Posts: 917 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA |
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964 | | Posted: 11:58 AM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Oh I'm shocked. And yes this is rape. Report it. I'm so so so sorry this happened to you. Please report it as rape and get a restraining order if you can since this guy knows where you live.
"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott
Posts: 3287 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico |
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964 | | Posted: 12:01 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Oh & he's text bombing you bc he knows it was rape & he's hoping to talk you out of doing anything about it.
I can't hug you enough right now.
(((((((Williesmom))))))))
"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott
Posts: 3287 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico |
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870 | | Posted: 12:05 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Thanks, all. Just one more embarrassing incident in my life.
I can't stop crying. My bff(who is a guy) emailed me this morning because he knew that this guy was coming.
I told him briefly what happened. He reached out, but I can't even talk about it.
I am losing hope here.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7979 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA |
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092 | | Posted: 12:06 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Please find someone to talk to about it--BFF sounds like a great option. This is NOT your fault, you don't need to be embarrassed! You did nothing wrong honey.
I'm sorry 
Sit. Feast on your life.
Posts: 4280 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC |
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870 | | Posted: 12:14 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
I will talk to BFF about it. We talk about everything.
Just not today.
I got a hot bath, put on my sweats, and I'm just going to stay home and cry. I'm just numb. [This message edited by Williesmom at 12:14 PM, March 15th (Saturday)]
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
Posts: 7979 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA |
ProbableIceCream
♂ 37468
Member # 37468 | | Posted: 12:18 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Wow. Reading this made me cry. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).
Posts: 866 | Registered: Nov 2012 |
crazynot
♀ 24572
Member # 24572 | | Posted: 12:25 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Police, yes. And your IC. You did nothing to make this happen. He is a bad person... xxx
Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
Posts: 1070 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK |
foxglove
♀ 21791
Member # 21791 | | Posted: 12:32 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
((WM)))
I'm so sorry. I know you're in shock right now, but I also think you should speak to the police. This is not just a matter of disrespecting your boundaries, you were assaulted by this man.
Me (BS)52
XH (WS)
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two grown sons, 26 & 28
Posts: 1466 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan |
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866 | | Posted: 12:33 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
(((Hugs)))
Call the police.
AKA Moo
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Posts: 53958 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation |
thyme2go
♂ 12908
Member # 12908 | | Posted: 12:38 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
As a man, all I can say is that this is not normal behavior. No means no regardless of the subject matter. He should not have done any of what he did without your consent.
Report this guy so he can be stopped from doing it again.
I am sorry this happened to you.
-t2g 
BH - no longer 49
3 DD's - (29, 25 and 18)
Divorced on 8/6/09
Posts: 9203 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington |
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346 | | Posted: 12:40 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
OMG!!!! ((((((WM))))) OMG.
Please call the police. Please take yourself to the ER to get swabbed. I'm sure you aren't the first person, or the last…that he did this to.
I had a boyfriend in college that thought it was OK to do stuff to me when I was asleep, even after I repeatedly asked him not to. I wish I had been strong enough then to call it rape.
I'm so sorry. You did nothing wrong, even if you tell them you willingly wanted sex…he still raped you.
me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced
Posts: 4423 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South |
thyme2go
♂ 12908
Member # 12908 | | Posted: 12:43 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Call BFF and have him help you.
-t2g
BH - no longer 49
3 DD's - (29, 25 and 18)
Divorced on 8/6/09
Posts: 9203 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington |
LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369 | | Posted: 12:46 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
I agree that you should report this guy.
No means no.
What he did to you was wrong, and illegal.
I'm so sorry...
(((Hugs)))
“When we protect ourselves so we won't feel pain, that protection becomes like armor, like armor that imprisons the softness of the heart.” ― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 10433 | Registered: Dec 2010 |
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468 | | Posted: 12:47 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Please consider calling the police. And, to cmego's point, ER's often have a nurse available who is trained to work with victims and collect the appropriate evidence. Alternatively, I just PM'd you a link that can help you locate a Rape Crisis Center for support.
((Williesmom))
Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
Posts: 4831 | Registered: Mar 2011 |
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150 | | Posted: 12:51 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
Jeezus WM, I'm speechless. Who does this?
Report him and get a restraining order right away.
((((((((((WM))))))))))))
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Posts: 18094 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada |
h0peless
♂ 36697
Member # 36697 | | Posted: 12:51 PM, March 15th (Saturday), 2014 | |
That's a sexual assault. Please call the police.
Posts: 1993 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona |
| Topic Posts: 90 | |
