SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My husband and I have been together for about 8 years. Married for 2 years. When we first started dating, I caught him sexting another woman. He said he wasn't thinking of it as cheating and he wouldn't do it again. A year or so later, I find naked pics that he had exchanged with another woman. He again apologized and said things just went too far. A while later, found more, he apologized again. I won't do it again. I then more with an ex-girlfriend while I was pregnant. I didn't find those until over a year after they exchanged them. New Years found out that he was having an affair with a coworker and exchanging pics with a girl he says he met on a word game. While going through his email over last week, I find videos he made of himself that he had sent to the girl from the word game. The videos were sent before I found everything out but come on videos from our couch and our bed. He even had his wedding band visible. Pictures are one thing and videos are another. He thinks that the videos shouldn't matter since they and the pictures were all sent to the same girl.

Note: He has not told me of any of this. This is just everything that I have found on my own. He has never confessed his wrongs to me.

I keep asking myself how much am I supposed to take?

Sorry (((Broken))),

You should not have to take ANY of it!! Please don't let this slide one more time. He is the broken one and will not change unless there is a reason. Give him that reason,be willing to walk out.

Please seek individual counseling for yourself to become stronger. My husband acted out in other ways and I regret that it took me 24 years and an affair to realize I was worth more.

It's done when you say 'done'.

What are you waiting for?

He has shown you repeatedly who he is.

How much are you supposed to take? None of it, actually. You're married to someone who has shown you that he is a serial cheater. He's shown you that repeatedly. He's shown you who he is please, open your eyes and really SEE him. And think about if this is the way you want to live the next 2 years, the next 4 years, if dealing with his affairs and lying is something that you want to do while you have children.

And if you want to have to go to your doctor on a yearly basis to have a full STD/HIV panel drawn because he will, eventually, have sex with someone, if he hasn't already, and your health will then be at risk. (((hugs))) I'm so sorry.

Sorry that you are dealing with this. It is painful to find out this stuff and he will not be giving you any info willingly. This site is great. Read the info in the Healing Library and then get tough with him. 180 if you have to. Dont let him blame you, don't let him continue to minimize what he has done. Also, investigate more, more, more. Take his cell phone for a few days without giving him any warning. Good luck and stay strong!

He again apologized and said things just went too far.

Talking and texting with another woman is too far on its own. The pics are the next phase of EA. EA are the worse. Educate him and yourself about those. Then get the book, "Not Just Friends."

Sorry, he has been cheating the whole time of your marriage. He has no boundaries or cares. Especially if you have put up with pics.

First EA texting, then pics, now videos, EA sex, ...

Where is your boundary? Is it only cheating if it is physical sex in your opinion? If you don't set boundaries and the consequences...then he will continue to see what he can get away with.

Broken,

I'm sorry you find yourself here. However, it is the best place to find advice and support. The others have given you great advice. I too found out that my husband of five years has been doing the online cyber stuff pretty much the whole time we've been together. Going on ten year and has quit cold turkey last April.

My advice would be to gather as much information as you can. I installed a key logger on his lap top. And when/if you decide to confront don't show him all your card. Don't tell him if you install the key logger keep it as a tool to see if you can trust him if you decide to R.

Make sure you take care of yourself, eat,sleep, stay hydrated.

As for how much your supposed to take, if he isn't willing to stop then that's something you need to decide if you can live with. Personally if I found my H still doing stuff I would leave. I refuse to compete with a bunch of bitches that have nothing better to do. Cheating is cheating whether its physical, emotional, or cyber.

Also look under I can relate there's a cyber/online affair thread that many have posted on.

HUGS

He has now had an affair. He was meeting up with a coworker after work for months. I found out on New Years. He tells me that he has ended it. I have been going through his texts and emails for the last week. I find myself thinking that he is just hiding it else where or has a different phone. I do not trust my husband at all.

You know you can't trust him. You know he lies and is a serial cheater. It ends when you end it. He isn't going to change. You confront, he tells you sorry, I will stop and then you catch him again. He has had no consequences, while you are devastated over and over.

He doesn't want to stop, perhaps he can't stop. He just wants you to stop catching him. What is wrong with this picture?

How much more do you WANT to take?