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Newest Member: Longnightalone

Divorce/Separation :
Tell the other woman's spouse?

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 justlikethat (original poster new member #42768) posted at 8:50 PM on Saturday, March 15th, 2014

Not sure if my husband physically cheated on me or not. He did have an emotional affair with a woman who lives on the other side of the country. He sent he flowers last year. Due to this and his history of lies, we a getting divorced. I looked her up on facebook, she seemed to be "happily" married at the time. I don't believe she is married anymore but I am not sure. Should I fill her husband/exhusband in on what I know?

posts: 43   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2014
id 6724255
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 8:54 PM on Saturday, March 15th, 2014

Yep. He deserves the truth.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6724258
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hope2014 ( member #42707) posted at 2:06 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

You should tell her H. But consider your timing, especially if you may be the only one who could tell the OH. I am in a very similar situation in that my H is having an EA (that is beginning to become physical or so he claims). I've located her H. My H agreed to move out of the house (which he has done) and we are amicably negotiating our divorce. While I want to and eventually will tell her H, I will probably not do so until the papers are signed. I don't want to unnecessarily poke the bear and make the current situation any worse.

Me - BS; 36
Him - WH; 35
Married - 16 years
2 Kids - Ages 3 and 6
DDay - 2/26/14

posts: 55   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2014   ·   location: Ohio
id 6724519
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sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 6:12 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

He has a right to know. I wish someone had told me instead of saying it "wasn't their business". Well, it was mine, and I didn't like that people knew what was going on in MY LIFE and didn't feel that I needed to know what was going on in my own life.

If you need help with contact info, send me a pm.

D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

posts: 5718   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2004   ·   location: NY
id 6724687
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2goodannie ( new member #41967) posted at 1:53 PM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I am thinking about doing this too. In the beginning, I wanted to contact her spouse to cause all the pain that she has caused my family. But now that it has been over 5 months, I really want to do it, because he deserves to know the truth.

How to do it and what to say??

posts: 41   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6724817
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