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Off Topic :
Aging...40 years and up. (vent)

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frustrated

 LineInTheSand (original poster member #20399) posted at 1:17 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

****VENT HERE****

Aging sucks! I mean after I turned 40 years old, everything seems to be going down hill. Yuck! Saggy skin and breasts, wrinkles, poor eye sight, etc. What gives? Why weren't we warned it would happen so suddenly? I have lady arm wings, gosh darn it! Ugh!

What brought about this post? Well, my son took a photo of me today. I couldn't believe how much I have aged! I'm starting to resemble my mother (no offense, mom)!

So, ladies and gentlemen, what do you do to make yourself feel better??

I understand everyone is getting older. Yes, I do. But, how are we suppose to find a mate looking old and haggard?

I'm trying to laugh my way out of this but it truly is the pits.

I'm seeking advice from those 40 and over. Those who are younger haven't really a clue for what's around the bend for them. Sorry young'uns! But, sadly you'll understand one day.

Any suggestion or sage advice?

posts: 598   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2008   ·   location: West Side
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undertherug ( member #41580) posted at 1:42 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

lineinthesand -- at 40, you are still YOUNG. I am 65. Three years ago I joined a gym and work out every day. I no longer have arm "wings." I feel better and look better than I have in years! I just wish I had done this when I was your age. I feel good and look good and have never felt better about myself. At 40 the best yet to come! Just get busy and get up and try!

posts: 1077   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2013   ·   location: United States
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Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 1:59 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I am 52. I just dream of looking like Christy Brinkley when I am 60 <sigh>

Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.

posts: 8488   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2007   ·   location: WNY
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 2:15 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

Aging??? 40??? Bwahahahahaha!

Try this:

http://www.playbuzz.com/jennifers/what-kind-of-old-person-will-you-be

This is me:

The "80 years young"

You'll stay as active as an 18 year old! You will do lots of things you barely have the energy to do now, like dancing and going to the gym at 5 am. You have your regular bingo night, and you drink like an Irish man at his prime.

PS: I'm 59 and 1/2

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 8:15 PM, March 15th (Saturday)]

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
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somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 2:18 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

..it's not about how old you are... but how young you feel!

..taking care of yourself.. exercise, diet, sleep and having a positive attitude about your life, will keep you young.

..while my breasts and chin aren't sagging(yet) I still have plenty of aches and pains (at almost 67) my hair is gray and missing in spots..

..at 40..crap, you're still a young'un and i'd trade your age for mine in a heartbeat.

..enjoy being 40.. in the BIG picture, you are in your prime!

..age is only a number and 40 is still a little one!

smy

trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!

posts: 6080   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2009   ·   location: Ontario Canada
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MUSICMAN ( member #2728) posted at 2:34 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

Relax.......40 is young.....I will be 56 next week.....Just had hip replacement almost 4 months ago. Graying, thinning head. Stiff joints, sleep apnea.....BUT I am still alive and happy.

Any day that I wake up and can get out of bed(crawling, falling or otherwise ) is a good day.

So smile and be thankful you are stiil alve.

Lot of water under the bridge...lot of other stuff too....Bob Dylan

posts: 318   ·   registered: Nov. 19th, 2003   ·   location: South Carolina
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gardenparty ( member #12050) posted at 2:48 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

47 here and I can still remember looking in the mirror just after 40 and noticing that my nice round belly buttoned was no longer round. It was like all my skin decided to start sliding off my body in one year. I definitely have more looseness in my jawline and don't get me going on the gray hair. I fight certain things with regular hair appts, pay a lot more attention to my posture and keeping my stomach and butt muscles engaged and since I work physically haven't had to worry about the arm thing yet.

Change a few small things and you will notice a difference. Get facial products and hair products for older people (yup...they exist), better diet and omega 3 pills are great and if you can afford it chemical peels do help with the thickening skin on your face.

All the other posters are right about 40 still feeling as though we are in our prime but in today's society it is hard not to obsess about getting older. I have been lucky and have enjoyed my 40's way more than my 30's. More time for myself, better financially and of course no EX...phishing me all the time.

divorced!

posts: 3194   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2006   ·   location: newfoundland
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sad12008 ( member #18179) posted at 2:57 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I understand what you're saying, LITS...in terms of the rather quantum leap aging seems to have taken from, say, our 20s. So it goes.

But you know, I kind of have a sense of adventure about it, it's kind of like, "whoa! who knew!"

I remember a cool elderly relative of mine talking about still feeling the same way inside but looking in the mirror and thinking, "who IS that old lady??" I guess every generation goes through it.

I feel better by continuing to learn, marveling at the changes, and trying to stay active and healthy. I want to be the old lady with the twinkle in her eye and a smile, assuming I rack up enough years. I think the people who cling desperately to youth and 'looking young' are the ones who wind up kind of miserable...'cause let's face it, it's going to be a losing battle. IMO, the ideal thing is to live your best life at whatever age.

You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

posts: 4280   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2008   ·   location: a new start together
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StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 3:36 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

How the hell do I get 80 years young as a result picking LOTR and grumpy cat?

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

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lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 3:39 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I'm 66 1/2, still work full time, paint in my spare time, and generally behave as if age doesn't matter, though the eyes, muscles and arthritic fingers beg to differ. Yep, guess I've got bat wing arms. Don't care. Just keep a young outlook. You can't help getting older but you don't have to get "old".

Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks

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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 3:55 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I never thought aging would bother me. I am now 46 and have decided it is a big bag of suck.

The End!

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 4:23 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I hear you. I look in the mirror and see the bags under my eyes and the gray hairs come quicker and quicker and I think wtf and when did that happen? I try to have a bright outlook but it depresses me. H tells me I am vain. It's more about where the hell is the time going?

I'm with karma. It's just a big bag of suck. (but that did make me laugh)

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
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Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 5:22 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

The reason we are all here occured for me 1 month before my 40th bday. (what a great Happy Birthday my X gave me!!!m Not...)

On my 40th I bought some beer and I was carded! At a place that I am usually not carded so I count it as a "legitimate" card and not a "we card everyone even if you are 100" card.

That was the last time I was ever legitimately carded. sigh

I am now 48 and I do not awake with a new pain everyday, but it is not unusual for me to awake with some new pain, especially in my feet. My feet were great (I thought) until about 5 years ago. That is when I realized that all those cute shoes in my 20's with no support caused damage I did not even realize. sigh

And now the gray. At first I plucked, but then I gave up because the grays outnumbered me.

And the winkles under my eyes. Nothing helps that.

And the worst part is that I know that I probably have 30+ more years of this and it will only get worse. sigh

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

posts: 17695   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2006   ·   location: A better place :)
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:37 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

My friends and I were just discussing this over dinner tonight. Over the past 3 years, it seems we've aged 15 years. Regular aches, gray hairs, permanent dark circles under our eyes... we all feel and see the changes almost daily. We came to the conclusion that someone somewhere hit the fast forward button.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 5:43 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I'll be 42 in a couple of months.

I have issues with my ankles and my massive boobs have sagged horribly, but overall I feel pretty darned great! Oh...and I'm starting to get gray hair at my temples, but only a few on each side, so I haven't started stressing out about it yet.

One major thing for me is that I eat well. I don't mean caviar and steak on a daily basis. I don't eat a lot of processed food. I make most things from scratch.

I'm often told I look half my age (ha!). I don't agree, but I'll take the compliment.

I don't wear makeup, but I moisturize my skin every single day.

Another thing I think keeps me young is my kids and husband. Hubby is 5yrs older, but we laugh all the time and laughter makes you feel good!

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 7:39 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I'll be 42 in a couple of months

It's just the last year or two. I hit 40 easily, but the last 1-2 years seems like I have aged at a super-fast rate.

I can't explain it.

My husband is 48 and looks 30, he seems to be going backwards, rat bastard.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 7:55 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

oh and what really pisses me off...

Now that I have figured out my FOO and have a ton of healing under my belt I can never have another baby.

Someone screwed this shit up. Allowing us to have kids when we are the most screwed up and clueless....we age, get some wisdom and it's taken off the table.

Who started this vent anyways? Man I am just pissed now, grrrrrr

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 12:07 PM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

Totally!

It's so unfair that H gets these specks of grays in his hair and it makes him look more handsome. Mine just make me look like an old hag .

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

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metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 1:09 PM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

I turned 40 this year. I think I can deal with it all except for what AN pointed out..

It's more about where the hell is the time going?

When I was younger time seemed to be endless. Now it moves so fast and every time I turn around one of my kids looks or is much older. This week everyone in my family has a birthday. I will have 10 and 17 year old kids. When the heck did THAT happen?

Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.

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risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 1:20 PM on Sunday, March 16th, 2014

When I was in my 40's I was living under terrible stress. Something not right in my marriage, DD's, false R, DD's, divorce from hell...

Now at 54, I might have more wrinkles. I assume this is true because I can't see a damn thing. Certainly there are sagging body parts. I believe I can feel my butt cheeks sitting on the back of my knees!

That said I feel beautiful because when I smile it travels all the way up to my eyes. When I laugh it is real. I can look people in the eye when talking and feel connected to those around me. I notice and enjoy the small things like the Robin sitting in the tree outside my bedroom window.

Okay I am getting too sappy even for me. Yes it sucks to get older but damn I am so much happier.

posts: 2148   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2004
id 6724801
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