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Daisy312 posted 3/16/2014 06:13 AM

Sorry I just need to vent a bit! I feel like since Dday my life has been so hard. It's like one thing after another. The newest punishment for me is shingles! Since I can't nurse DD while on the meds I had to abruptly wean her. I was gradually in the process anyways but now I'm in so much pain! I saw ow posted a new Facebook pic an she looks so happy. It's not fair that she got to ruin my life, but was able to leave her unhappy marriage, sell her house, meet a new man that she gushes about, do things, travel, got a promotion, etc... Its just not fair! I'm sitting here in my pity party!

MrsDoubtfire posted 3/16/2014 06:27 AM

FaceBook isn't the whole truth you know. Brag Book for some to show off to the world when the reality is far drabber.

My heart goes out to you for having to wean your DD.

FWIW- the OW will still be the mixed up woman that had the A and sooner or later the karma bus will find her.

Maybe you will get a ringside seat to that.

Daisy312 posted 3/16/2014 08:22 AM

Thanks! I keep trying to tell myself that it just looks great! It's hard though when I'm feeling so down. I really hope the karma bus hits soon!

brkn_heartd posted 3/16/2014 08:57 AM

I am so sorry that you have the shingles on top of everything and have had to wean your daughter abruptly. I am sure that is a new layer of pain in your life (physical and emotional) and not needed now! Be gentle with yourself.

I agree with Mrs.Doubtfire, Facebook showed the life others want everyone to see and is not always representative of real life. I also believe in the Karma bus. It will get her. You may never know when or how...but it will.

As far as her facebook. I strongly encourage you to block her and quit looking. I know it is hard, but it is for the best. Each time you look, you are bring pain into your life. Sometimes no contact I think is valuable for us as betrayed spouses. No contact through any media source with the AP. Also, no mental contact. That one took me a long time to learn and implement. Meaning...don't give them headspace. Do not allow them to occupy your thoughts. That is very difficult to do. But I did find ultimately, I was able to keep our OW out of my mind and I started to feel better. However, my first start was to quit looking at her on FB, with pictures and reading her (Public) updates.

Spend some quality time with your daughter today...I am betting she will help cheer you up. You have her, and the joys that she brings!

Freebygrace posted 3/16/2014 09:13 AM

Aw, I'm sorry you have shingles. That is so painful.

Things are not so great as they appear on fake Book.

I know for a fact that the OW looks at my page. All she can see is my profile and banner pics.

So, we went on a cruise last month. My WH left the camera in the car! I made him take the shuttle back to the parking lot to go get it. The whole purpose of the trip was so that I could get some good pics for that banner and profile pic! LOL.

Actually, the whole trip, I was sad. I will never believe that he really loves me. I don't really enjoy spending time with him alone. But, you would never know that from the pics!

She has problems!

Churchill posted 3/16/2014 09:40 AM

Hi Daisy, I'm sorry that you are hurting and I'm glad that you can vent. Pity parties are just the thing sometimes.

Thinkingtoomuch posted 3/16/2014 10:34 AM

Hi, Daisy,

So sorry you got shingles. I had it in 2003 the year I met xwf. It is very, very painful (can be one of the worst) and needs all your mental and physical strength to deal with it and heal. They did not give me the drug for it as I was out of the time window for it to work. So it took me months to heal while I was working a demanding job and aftereffects later. From what I've seen, others who did get the drug did much, much better than me, actually not as much pain at all.

Shingles is contagious to immunocompromised and the unvaccinated . So educate yourself about it, about how to protect your baby.

The strong pain medicine I took at first had more side effects than helping, so ibuprofen a couple times a day took the edge off better in the long run.

Stress is the number one reason the chicken pox virus gets reactivated into shingles.

Take care of yourself.

Hang in there!

[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 10:37 AM, March 16th (Sunday)]

strengthandhope posted 3/16/2014 11:53 AM

In times of hurt FB can be even more damaging. Have you considered blocking her?

Daisy312 posted 3/17/2014 09:01 AM

I know blocking would be best, I just can't bring myself to do it! They still work at the same place and I think part of me looks at it as a way of keeping tabs. Her profile is private, but she changes her profile almost weekly. They are always lovey dovey pics with her new man. A single guy they also work with.