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When do you stop doubting?

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brokenlove2012 posted 3/16/2014 07:36 AM

When does the time come that you stop doubting that there is more to know. My wh has given me no reason to not believe I know everything but yet I still obsess over the truth. So when does that go away?

MrsDoubtfire posted 3/16/2014 07:42 AM

It differs from person to person I think.

Depending on the length of the A and the time lapse between Dday and the actual 'act' it can be hard for some WS's to account for every second of their A which has a rebound effect upon their BS.

I no longer ask any questions as I am satisfied I have all the knowledge *I* needed to help me heal.

That is different to having all the answers I guess but I have what I believe to be the entire story.

What I do know is I know enough that I no longer have doubts.

You will know when you have enough information to help you move forwards.

ETA: It all depends on how transparent your WS is too.

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 7:43 AM, March 16th (Sunday)]

IsthereEVERanend posted 3/16/2014 15:05 PM

Maybe too much knowledge is a bad thing. I wish I had gotten a little more but at this point it's not worth digging off the old scabs to get it. Life will continue without a doubt.

rachelc posted 3/16/2014 16:30 PM

This has been very difficult for me as there was no confession and he lied so much on the second DDay. I mean how could I know everything? It could be I do but due to how things shook out, and a break in NC that I discovered myself, it's apparent HE is not going to tell me it all. Do I know enough to recover? Probably, but the fact that i had to discover it all myself doesn't bode well in me thinking I know the truth

BtraydWife posted 3/16/2014 16:51 PM

I don't think it ever goes away because we as BSs can never know for certain that we have all the information. The die down of the worry depends on how R is going.

Additionally, the WS will never again be given the benefit of the doubt. If something iffy comes up the BS will always wonder if there is more going on or if more had gone on. WSs lose this benefit when they step outside of the marriage.

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