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Newest Member: JSHockey (61869)

User Topic: The Pain!!!
♀ 37951
Member # 37951
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello all,
I don't post much but read everyday. I feel like I just can't do this anymore. There are no choices for me to be happy. I have been searching for the answer since my last Dday and always come up with nothing but pain.
Choice #1...
Stay with my remorseful WH and raise our children knowing everyday that he is the man that caused me the worst pain of my life and got to keep his family intact as if it never happened while I am forever scarred and broken. Some days I just want to hurt him.
Choice #2...
Leave WH and family to be alone knowing that someone else will eventually take my place and enjoy all that I built. Be a stepparent to my kids and get the new WH. All the while I get to witness this.
Choice #3...
I want to die. Be away from it all, nothing to witness, nothing to feel.
I am not looking for a pity party folks, Just purging my thoughts.
I need this pain to end and most options are so full of pain.
My last Dday was 11/12 and I still cry daily, still hurt and just can't seem to get thru.
Geesh if I was reading this I would want me to disappear too. So pathetic.
Not sure I have a point to all this except you folks get it and I am just so damn lost.
THanks if you made it to here.

BS-me 45
married 11 yrs, together 15
DS13 DS9
Dday May 2012 EA
False R... Dday#2 11/30/2012 PA same MOW

The opposite of love is not hate ... It is indifference.
seems I'm on the 15 year plan

Posts: 73 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Needrespect)) 2 could also include you meeting someone new that respects you and fulfills you. Are you in IC? That may help... I'm 6 months further along than you and the pain has eased considerably just lately.

Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

#2 can also involve getting to know yourself better and finding how to make you happy independently....growing a new set of interests, friends, etc., ultimately you have to focus on that, not on the fear of being replaced. The best revenge is living well.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
♀ 37274
Member # 37274
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can totally relate. I always say that there just is no happy for me right now...choice 1 or choice 2 is just choosing between pain or more pain. What keeps me going is the hope that someday I will be happy again. I am working towards that. I think choice 1 is going to be where I find happiness again someday. I hope so anyway...I want so badly to feel happy with him again.

I believe choice 1 or choice 2 can lead to happiness. It's just a matter of healing yourself which is a process.

D-Day Sept. 14/12...R started Dec. 3/12
Together-10 years Married-5 years
Son-13 months (died July 2, 2014)
Son-born Jan. 2015
4 month EA and 4 month EA/PA in 2012 with my "friend"

Posts: 255 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ 39567
Member # 39567
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I am so sorry. I know that nothing that can be said will lessen the pain you feel. Please know that most of us feel the same pain. I understand where you stand. (((Hugs))).

Maybe someone like me, who does care about what you are going through will lessen the pain, even if just for a bit.

You are not alone.

M 3/27/12 together since 06'
A EA/PA 4/19/13/5/26/13
DD 6/12/13
Forced NC 6/13/13
MOW coworker-caught,TT for six months.

Posts: 161 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
♀ 42421
Member # 42421
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Needrespect))) You took the words out of my mouth. Please know that you are not alone, we are all here for you.

I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo

Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ 42797
Member # 42797
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am brand spanking new to this group, but please know that you are worth so much more than you know. You are wonderful and strong and you will get through this. I am learning so much from this group! Please keep posting.

"Every time I stay out late; every time I sleep in; every time I miss a workout; every time I don't give 100% - I make it that much easier for him to beat me!"
Me: BS & Beautiful!

Posts: 80 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: USA
♀ 40898
Member # 40898
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, March 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((needrespect))) I know the pain you are feeling all too well. If you have read any of my postings you know I also have had some of the worst days and really didn't know if I could do this anymore. Just recently was my "Tired of faking it post." Even though I feel this way the motivation that keeps me going is knowing and hoping that one day I will be happy again. I know it is said over and over but it will get better it has to. Just hang in there. If you ever need to talk just msg me. Sometimes it helps to just vent and get it out. Look for a DivorceCare group in your area. They won't judge, they will be there to listen. Hugs to you.

me(BS)-34 him(WS)-32 DS-15
Married 15 years
Blindsided with divorce 07-12-13
DD-08-1-13 OW-40ish,married 20 yrs, with 4 kids she abandoned
Divorcing and trying to move one tiny step forward at a time.
Divorced: Jan 27,2015 (Ds 16th BDay)He rem

Posts: 118 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 8

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