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Paranoid

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AngelBetrayed posted 3/16/2014 13:31 PM

I had posted a few times since Dd in Feb 2010. FWH has been remorseful. I have been lurking on Si. Our marriage still has the same pre-A issues. Few his very critical of everything and it gets very tiring. He also has a very explosive temper, but I am not in danger. The same can't be said of walls, other inanimate objects. Today I poked the bear. He was complaining about my purse being on a chair. I made a big drama about moving it. He had a hissy and the chair is broken. Now I have been paranoid about him still seeing his AP. Basically questioning to myself whenever he is late getting home from anywhere. Never shared this with him. So today I did something very wrong. I told him that she contacted me to gloat that they were seeing each other. He had a huge fit, the wall in the basement is proof of the anger. After much drama I came clean about lying. Now he has left and I don't know if he is coming back. Not sure how I fell

norabird posted 3/16/2014 13:41 PM

If there's no trust maybe you will find separating is more peaceful for you. Did you have transparency with him? Access to his phone, email, etc. I don't know if he was still cheating or not but whether or not he is it doesn't seem like the M is everything it could be. I'm sorry. Perhaps it's just time to throw in the towel.

DragonBunker posted 3/16/2014 14:15 PM

I used to be walking on eggshells because of the explosive temper. Eventually, those men and women will physically hurt someone. Usually their significant other. I know this for a painful fact. And they're always so sorry and it will never happen again. Until next time.

I'm sorry but I can't see it changing for you. This is who he is. And being away from that control (whether you see it or not, you're under some measure of control here) will be good for you. I echo the previous poster- maybe it is time to throw in the towel.

ButterflyGirl posted 3/16/2014 14:19 PM

You don't think breaking things and scaring you is abuse? At least emotional abuse??

He's not respecting you at all. Id get the hell out of there if I were you. Violence is NOT a healthy coping mechanism.

AngelBetrayed posted 3/16/2014 15:35 PM

Thank you for your responses. He has been transparent since DD. I stopped checking everything about two years ago. MOW has reconciled with her BH. The walking on eggshells is going to stop and he will have to deal with it. More concerned about him hurting himself. He has since returned and we are being civil. I am pushing him to get help re his tantrums for lack of a better word

sidney2718 posted 3/16/2014 15:55 PM

Thank you for your responses. He has been transparent since DD. I stopped checking everything about two years ago. MOW has reconciled with her BH. The walking on eggshells is going to stop and he will have to deal with it. More concerned about him hurting himself. He has since returned and we are being civil. I am pushing him to get help re his tantrums for lack of a better word.

Lots of luck Angel! Don't tell yourself excuses for his behavior.

FixYou71 posted 3/16/2014 16:00 PM

If nothing else I would be concerned about your daughter growing up in that kind of atmosphere. That can really take it's toll on a child and have long term consequences.

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