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Okay, I think I have the guts to file, just need help

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Faithful w/Love posted 3/17/2014 09:28 AM

Wh went out Friday, and I think it was with his XAP. I feel that something is up. I asked him about it and he said he text her regarding why she was on our DD's twitter account.
So I am upset, here I thought he didn't want me because all we do is fight, but we fight because I always felt left out sense I moved back home. He never asks me to do anything on the weekends while he gets cleaned up and heads out the door. I never really know who he is with or what he does.
So I said I think he was with her Friday and he said "OMG, I am not going to go thru this with you".
This bitch will not go away. And I guess he would rather have a homewrecking, immature, slutty person instead of his wife, he can have her! I am so tired and worn out. 5 fucking years this has been going on and I was played like a fiddle. He can have his FRIEND and fuck her all her wants. Hope they are happy together. But the his CAKE EATING IS FUCKING OVER! I trusted him again when he promised me that he would have nothing to do with her. Why won't he leave her the fuck alone. Is she that important to him? Cause I know I am NOT!

I want to throw up! What hurts the most is he chooses her and him over me and I never ever hurt him. He would rather have someone like that.

2goodannie posted 3/17/2014 09:36 AM

How much more are you going to take?? You don't deserve this and he doesn't deserve you! File, serve him and move on with your life!!

norabird posted 3/17/2014 09:39 AM

You can do it! See a lawyer and gather your troops. ((((hugs)))))

ButterflyGirl posted 3/17/2014 09:47 AM

From a response in general: Unleash your inner Bitch.

FTG dude.

Whether he was with her or not, he don't get to fucking talk to you like that.

[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 9:49 AM, March 17th (Monday)]

nowiknow23 posted 3/17/2014 10:00 AM

This isn't about YOU. You KNOW this.

This isn't about XAP/AP or any other woman for that matter. You KNOW this.

None of this is about anything other than his selfishness. YOU KNOW THIS!

File and free yourself from this toxic asshole. ((((FwL))))

Nature_Girl posted 3/17/2014 10:07 AM

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

Hamlet Act 1, Scene 3

Jennifer99 posted 3/17/2014 10:10 AM

What do you need help with Faithful?

Faithful w/Love posted 3/17/2014 10:29 AM

I know it isn't about me but I feel like it is.
" He text me... Thats why I have learned to live a lie". WTF does that mean?

Guy's I know I deserve better, that is no question but it burns my soul that he screwed me over again with that BITCH!

So what happens when I file? I don't want the house so that is not going to be a problem, our son can come and go as he is 15 and we always agreed that he will not be put in middle. Daughter is grown and lives on her own. Can I make this cheap? I don't have a lot of money. Just want to be done.

Faithful w/Love posted 3/17/2014 10:40 AM

I need help with being strong, I always get suckered back with the cake eating charm. URRGGHHH.

Do you all think I should move out first before I file or file before I move out? I am trying to find a house to rent for now and everything is so pricey. UURRGGGHHHH.

TrustedHer posted 3/17/2014 10:45 AM

Do you all think I should move out first before I file or file before I move out?

Don't ask us. Ask your lawyer. We don't know the laws of your state, or the damage you might do to your case if you "abandon" him.

Please re-read your first post on this thread.

You are not describing a marriage. It sure sounds like you're a servant or employee.

Leia posted 3/17/2014 10:56 AM

What TrustedHer said. See the lawyer first and find out what is the best course of action in your case. Go for it! The feeling of being free and moving on is the best!

Faithful w/Love posted 3/17/2014 11:03 AM

You are not describing a marriage. It sure sounds like you're a servant or employee.


Phoenix1 posted 3/17/2014 11:11 AM

Get thee to a lawyer for a consult ASAP. Knowledge is power and gives confidence. Once you have an idea of what you can expect given your state's laws you can start thinking and planning strategically, which is precisely what you need to do.

ButterflyGirl posted 3/17/2014 11:28 AM

I left the marital home in the beginning. The important thing to the judge in my case was that I took the kids with me.. And now I got the house back with exclusive use.. And he has EOW visitation.

I agree to talk to your lawyer ASAP, but your health and sanity come first. If you need to get out, go...

sparkysable posted 3/17/2014 11:38 AM

If you want to give him the house, that's fine, but he HAS to buy you out for your half of the equity, and then refinance and take your name off. Don't just give him the house for free.

Nobody wants to pay for a lawyer, but unless you qualify for legal aid, you're going to have to make it work. Many people here on SI used credit to pay for their lawyer, or borrowed from family.

Faithful w/Love posted 3/17/2014 11:58 AM

Oh he can have the house but yes, he will have to pay me out my part. And yes, he would have to get my name off the house so I could eventually buy my own.

twillett333 posted 3/17/2014 12:00 PM

My WH would say the same things to me when she would call his phone back to back when he supposedly ended things with her. He would say im not going through this again and you dont trust be blah blah blah. Turns out he was still in the affair. I just found out Saturday through and email and instagram pics :(

Nomorestrength posted 3/17/2014 12:08 PM

Call several attorneys today and set up 2-3 consultations. In my state there are several non-profit divorce support groups and they can help provide a list of attorneys offering free consultations. A lot offer free first consultation anyway.

Even if he were to be a completely different husband tomorrow (which we all hope for but is unlikely in most cases), you need to get advice TODAY to help with your future. You deserve so much more. He isn't looking out for your best interest, so you have to.

Our situations are similar in that my WH will not stop seeing his "friend" but doesn't want divorce either. And I've had several DD's. Luckily we aren't living together so I don't have his disrespectful actions quite as much in my face as you do.

I am almost 7 months pregnant with my first child and I finally signed the divorce complaint today, he should get papers this week. I'm scared as hell, as I know you are too, of the unknown future and would give anything to not be getting divorced, but no one should have to live with ongoing betrayal. I know you are stronger than you believe. Find out your options.

Tearsoflove posted 3/17/2014 13:29 PM

Even if he isn't seeing her, why would you stay married to someone who gets cleaned up on the weekends and then takes off without you, not letting you know where he's going or who with? Seriously, see a lawyer. Whoever said he treats you like a servant is dead on.

one2ndchance posted 3/17/2014 14:05 PM

After you make your appts with a L, go to your state's website and read up on divorce laws. They are written in layman's terms. It will help you understand the process. My state even has the legal forms necessary if you're eligible for a DIY divorce. Print out the disclosure forms (Assets & Debts) and start filling them out. The more you learn, the more appropriate questions you can ask when you have your appointments.

Once you become pro active, you won't feel so helpless. Taking steps to end this hell you're living in will make you feel more in control.

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