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Advice needed please...

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msmaggiemags posted 3/17/2014 10:53 AM

I worked with a woman not too long ago that would talk about her BF being out all of the time, and never home, not working, but never home. She is taking care of his son by another woman and all. She pays all of the bills etc. Well, this fall she found out she had HPV and the beginning stages of cervical cancer. So she had a complete hysterectomy. Last week I went to have lunch with a family member of mine, that I haven't spoken to in a long time due to the fact that she was in women's correction facility. She has "changed" at least it seems, and wanted to ask for forgiveness. Anyway while talking she told me she had been seeing "the BF" of the woman I worked with, not knowing they were together. She even went to their house and they "met" in the basement. She also went on to say that she now realizes he has a girlfriend, etc. and that he is all about the "sex" with all kinds of women. So do I tell the woman I worked with or not, it would be against my family hard but with an STD as part of the picture, I feel compelled. I don't know. I wish someone would have told me when my H was being a dink and sexting and stuff. Any advice? I would love for my name to stay out of it but honestly she deserves to know what trash he is.

confused615 posted 3/17/2014 11:00 AM

Tell you said, you would have wanted someone to tell you.

This time it's cervical cancer. Next time it could be HIV.

If you don't want to tell her, and you have access to the investigative forum, you can ask someone there to contact your friend since you want to stay out of it(perfectly understandable with OW being family AND just got out of a women's correctional facility).

She went to his house...she was inside his house..but claims not to have known a woman lived in that house? I call bullshit on that. BULLSHIT. She is just trying to justify and rationalize her shitty behavior.

Tough spot to be in..but you know she deserves to know...right?

[This message edited by confused615 at 11:00 AM, March 17th (Monday)]

itainteasy posted 3/17/2014 11:02 AM

Does your family member plan to continue seeing this bf of your coworker?

I would tell her. You said it yourself, you wish someone had told you.

It sounds like he's cheating with multiple women. Your coworker needs to know for her own safety, as some STDs can be fatal.

karmahappens posted 3/17/2014 11:02 AM


I agree with confused.

I am sorry you are in this position, but you have the ability to do some good here. Let her know her truth.

Strength to you, I know it will be heart-breaking to do.

norabird posted 3/17/2014 12:28 PM

How awful. Your former coworker certainly needs to know. I hope you can find a way to break the news to her.

I hate hearing things like this.

sisoon posted 3/17/2014 13:21 PM

If you think your family member stopped seeing the guy as soon as she realized he was cheating, I wouldn't out her - but the BF should be outed for sure.

If your family member is still seeing the guy, probably out both, IMO.

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