"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

MichelleRenee posted 3/17/2014 11:20 AM

I haven't posted in awhile. I filed 3/25/13 due to his infidelity. We own a home which I handed him in the divorce since I couldn't afford it. While I was in the process of packing 3 kids & myself to go live with my parents my wonderful husband told me "hurry up & move out so I can start my new life" (with his homewrecker). Fast forward to now. Our divorce is not final yet. He has been fired from his job. He is losing the house. He needs ME to help him get some type of govt mortgage help program to save the home. Only benefit to me would be saving my credit but truly I don't care too much about that. My thoughts is that i could offer to help him save the home in return for an additional weekend a month with our son. The horrible judge gave me 3rd & 5th weekends only (plus weekdays). I wanted EOWE. So, what do you think? Or should I just tell him NO WAY to helping with the home? Not sure how he'll react to my offer but I'm sick of getting walked on by this "man".

GabyBaby posted 3/17/2014 12:14 PM

I'd tell him to kiss my ass. This is the "new life" he wanted, so leave him to it!
Besides, without an enforceable document from the court that grants you that additional weekend, there is NO incentive for him to hold to his side of the bargain once you help him get the new mortgage.
Add to that, you'd still be on a loan with your STBXH when you want to be separating your finances at this point.

No, no, NO!

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 12:22 PM, March 17th (Monday)]

newlysingle posted 3/17/2014 12:30 PM

My guess is that "saving the home" means you signing another mortgage with him. I'd say hell no to that. You don't want to be financially tied to this asshole any longer.

I still co-own my home with the ex and it's awful. I'm selling soon to cut that tie with him.

norabird posted 3/17/2014 12:40 PM

If he was given the home, why would you still be liable? Maybe you can get your name off of it? I wouldn't help him out UNLESS first he signs a legal revision of visitation.

GabyBaby posted 3/17/2014 12:48 PM

If he was given the home, why would you still be liable?

If MR signed the mortgage note, then she's on the hook with the lender regardless of the court awarding property to her STBXH (in most cases).
If he stops paying the lender can come after her.
The only way to get her name off the mortgage is for him to refinance in his name only. I personally think BS should have "refi by X date or X, Y, Z will occur" verbiage added as a "must have" in the final divorce docs if the WS gets the house.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 12:49 PM, March 17th (Monday)]

one2ndchance posted 3/17/2014 14:27 PM

Is he talking about the HARP program? If yes, you may want to first talk with the lender of your present mortgage and see if they can re-fi through HARP and get the new loan in his name only. That way you could save your credit and possibly negotiate that extra custody time.

Make the offer ONLY if that HARP re-fi removes you from the mortgage.