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Newest Member: JENNETH (61550)

User Topic: obsessing versus verifying
♂ 42458
Member # 42458
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please help me to understand the difference between obsessing and verifying? I know yesterday I was obsessed with trying to figure out why my WW had parked so far away in a parking lot while at the gym. It lead me to think that she was meeting someone in the parking lot to meet with her AP.


DD: 12/18/2013
Status: R

Happiness is a choice.

Posts: 149 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: USA
♀ 42486
Member # 42486
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I obsess a lot, why did he do this and that, drives me insane that i do it. Verifying to me is when you can prove your obssession, hope we never can do this

me BS 57
Him WS 56
Married 37 years 2 sons 5 grandchildren

Posts: 735 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: France
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's a fine line. If she says she's going out with a friend and you check her email/calendar or even do a drive by of the place she said she's going to be, then that's me. Obsessing, I don't know, that one is kind of hard, because it is such a fine line. I think it all depends on your point view.

Does this rambling help?

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

Posts: 6121 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are three months out today. Your status says you are in limbo. If you want to R, I see nothing wrong with checking up on her. And she should welcome it...if she wants to R.

The difference between obsessing and verifying, IMO, is that if you are obsessing, then you are unable to do anything else, you can't function day to day. However, this is absolutely normal in the early months after dday.

As for her car being parked so far from the building..FWH used to do that at work too. When he was watching porn in his van during breaks at work. So he had "privacy." Yuck. The point is, he was up to no good. YMMV

FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, March 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One possibility is that as part of wanting to be healthier (see: gym) she's adding more steps into her day. I've seen the advice to park at the far edge of the lot in order to walk more as a small but important change for greater fitness.

Obviously that may not be the case here, but parking far away can in fact be part of a general approach to increasing physical activity.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 5

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