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Etexas posted 3/18/2014 16:05 PM

I havent been here in awhile. This site really helped me at first and then it seemed to really just make me think about it more so I stopped. I have 6 months from being 4 yrs since I have found out. Went through everything everyone else has. For the past year things havent been the same. I havent told her I loved her in over a year. There is no sex and emotions. When we talk it is just about the kids. I just cant get over it. I wish I could get out but financially I just cant right now. I think she would rather live like this than have the stigma or have her friends know exactly what happened. I am just miserable. Lost all hope and life just plain sucks right now. It is amazing that after all this time I can still get sick to my stomach about it when I think about it. I dont get pissed anymore. I dont look at her the same, I know I dont love her. Just wandering if anyone else is going through the same thing?

HUFI-PUFI posted 3/18/2014 16:17 PM

Etexas - I don't look at her the same, I know I don't love her. Just wandering if anyone else is going through the same thing?

I regret to say but you are not alone. In fact, the R forum is so full of sad and unhappy BS's that it prompted a whole thread on the issue.

Etexas - I wish I could get out but financially I just can't right now.

Understandable but I challenge you to figure it out now. How long are you willing to live this sham of a life? Yes, the obstacles are tough but you aren't doing anyone any favor by staying in a marriage that is unhappy, unfilled with love and full of misery. Don't you feel that you deserve better?


We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be - May Sarton

Jrazz posted 3/18/2014 16:23 PM

Welcome back, Etexas. Sounds like you're in a really rough spot.


somanyyears posted 3/18/2014 16:25 PM're not getting any younger..

..the finances thing will work itself out., hers or yours, isn't worth an unhappy life.

..take charge of your future.. your next woman just might be a millionaire.. but you'll never know unless you get out from under the present one that is keeping you so unhappy..

..good luck..


Etexas posted 3/18/2014 16:28 PM

Yeah, I am trying to find another job. Once I can do that then I would just take out my retirement and pay everything off.

Yes, I do deserve better. Just getting to that point.

I have heard that, but if the money isnt there, it just isnt there.

Dare2Trust posted 3/19/2014 23:38 PM


Very few people have ALL THEIR DEBTS paid off in full ---So, waiting to full-fill that goal, might keep you in this dead-end marriage a very, very long time.

Only you can decided when enough is enough.
I read your previous posts - and you've been "Talking Divorce" a very long time - years.
I'd suggest you talk to your attorney again; and see exactly where you stand financially...and move on with your life.
NO ONE should live their life this way: No love, no emotions, no sex. You're a young man - you have your whole life in front of you.

RidingHealingRd posted 3/20/2014 00:39 AM

Our Ddays are very close...worst day of my life 10/29/10.

Fortunately, our M has survived. I am in a far better place today but it was a horrendous journey.

I am so sorry that you continue to struggle. You deserve peace and happiness in your life. I believe you can find that, you just need to set the wheels in motion.

Set some goals and actively pursue them. Seeking new employment (or a 2nd job) is a step in the right direction.

Have you talked with an attorney to better understand how a D would impact you financially?

Would it be possible to move out, maybe move in with a family member or into a small apartment?

It appears that you have gained clarity regarding your situations. Clarity, confidence, and motivation can be the catalyst for change.

You can find happiness again.

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