So our DD was 1/1/14. Lovely start to the New Year. Husband had "Craigslist" sex with 7 men and two women over a 1-year period. I am not handling it well.
We have done MC and IC and even each went to 3 day intensive workshops for SAs and spouses of SAs out of state which cost a fortune. 5 days after I return from the workshop, we have a bad day and he starts packing his bags which he has never done before. I tell him that I will "help." I toss out every article of clothing from the closet into a big heap that buried the suitcases. He got angry and threw his $1400 computer out into the driveway along with his $400 phone-- effectively destroying both. We both did a few other stupid things and then calmed down--for a while. Then I decided I hated life so I started to drink wine. Each of us drank a bottle. I didn't know he also took Temazapan which helps him sleep. Well, he goes to bed and after a while comes into the living room and says something arrogant and goes back to bed. That started another argument--fueled with alcohol (very classy). Eventually, I am totally pissed and decide to act out on an inanimate object. I chose his nightstand.
He was lying in bed. I handed him the glass of water that was on the nightstand so it wouldn't get spilled, then I flipped the damn thing over causing items to scatter about the room. Then I took a small ceramic toothpick holder and smashed it on the floor. I went into the closet and started to pack my stuff.
About 2 minutes later, I return to the living room and he is sitting in a chair stark naked talking to the 911 operator! He is very coherently telling her that he feels unsafe and that I was throwing stuff. I have heard jail cells are cold, so I put on my coat and snow boots. He tells her that I am preparing to run. I was pissed and grabbed the phone from him and explained to her I was preparing for jail, not to run and that I would be waiting at the bottom of my driveway for the troopers.
He stays in the chair and I drag a lawn chair down to the bottom of the drive and wait for the troopers who come within about 10 minutes which surprised me. I take them up to the house and I see my husband in the same chair still stark naked and he's sleeping. I figure that's a fine way to greet the troopers and I don't warn him.
By this time I'm bawling so hard I'm hiccupping because I know husband did not feel afraid of me; he just wanted to get back at me for fighting with him. I'm not saying I should have thrown things, but I didn't throw anything at him nor assault him in any way. Neither of us have ever hit each other. He was coherent enough at this time not to hit me. Anyhow, I didn't get arrested as my husband wished me to, but I did get horribly humiliated. The cops made me take a cab to a hotel while husband went back to bed.
So late the next morning when he woke up, he didn't know where I was nor why the cops had been there. He said he knew the cops were there because he remembered seeing one standing next to the bed, but he didn't know why.
He seems to think because he doesn't remember trying to get me arrested that it shouldn't quite be counted against him. He has been very apologetic, yet I think it's arrogant that he is not horrified about what he did. Is being wasted a valid reason to call the cops to try to get revenge on your wife for fighting? If he remembered it, would that make the situation more serious? Am I overreacting since he doesn't remember any of it? I am baffled about whether to forgive him or what to think in such a situation. He was coherent the entire time he was on the phone and while talking to the cops. Yes, he was drunk, but it's the sleeping pills that kept him from remembering (they do that). So how do I react to this? (By the way, he's agreed to go to AA.)