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I can truly say that I love and am in love with my husband. His character was always a big attraction for me. I was shocked and heartbroken when he confessed to a six month EA/PA with my "best friend" and my daughter's Godmother, but he has been the model FWH, was very forthcoming and clear that he wanted our marriage to work. For the first 4 months post Dday, he was incredibly attentive and thoughtful. Our physical relationship was like when we first were together and I felt loved. As the months went on, he has become less interested in physical intimacy and only dutifully affectionate. I feel like he's kissing his mother every morning when he leaves for work. I've broached the subject multiple times and he keeps reassurring me that he finds me attractive and that if I;m not getting what I need to speak up. He keeps reminding me that he's not as young as he was. (well it didn't stop him from sleeping with my best friend when he was 54!) I feel more and more lonely each day. I have allowed the situation to make me feel unattractive and unappealing. The last time I told him that I felt self-conscious of initiating intimacy and he told me I just had to get over it. Since then, Ive kept mum. The last thing I want to look like is some insipid, weak, insecure wife whining for attention.

He is perfectly happy with his life. He has this burden off his shoulders and he's completely moved on. I can tell he gets impatient with me that I'm not "over it". I am seeing a therapist but maybe we need to go to marriage counseling. I'm harboring a growing sense of resentmentt against him for being so cavalier about the whole thing. In his opinion, he is so over it, why can't I be. Unfortunately, he cant understand how, even after a year, its the first thought I have in the morning and the last thought in the evening. He has no idea the emotional torture the affair has caused me. I'm no longer my care free, confident self. I feel broken and exhausted. Does anyone have any insights?

I can truly say that I love and am in love with my husband.  His character was always a big attraction for me.  I was shocked and heartbroken when he confessed to a six month EA/PA with my "best friend" and my daughter's Godmother, but he has been the model FWH, was very forthcoming and clear that he wanted our marriage to work.  For the first 4 months post Dday, he was incredibly attentive and thoughtful.  Our physical relationship was like when we first were together and I felt loved.  As the months went on, he has become less interested in physical intimacy and only dutifully affectionate.  I feel like he's kissing his mother every morning when he leaves for work.  I've broached the subject multiple times and he keeps reassurring me that he finds me attractive and that if I;m not getting what I need to speak up.  He keeps reminding me that he's not as young as he was.  (well it didn't stop him from sleeping with my best friend when he was 54!)  I feel more and more lonely each day.  I have allowed the situation to make me feel unattractive and unappealing.  The last time I told him that I felt self-conscious of initiating intimacy and he told me I just had to get over it.  Since then, Ive kept mum.  The last thing I want to look like is some insipid, weak, insecure wife whining for attention.

He is perfectly happy with his life.  He has this burden off his shoulders and he's completely moved on.  I can tell he gets impatient with me that I'm not "over it".    I am seeing a therapist but maybe we need to go to marriage counseling.  I'm harboring a growing sense of resentmentt against him for being so cavalier about the whole thing.  In his opinion, he is so over it, why can't I be.  Unfortunately, he cant understand how, even after a year, its the first thought I have in the morning and the last thought in the evening.  He has no idea the emotional torture the affair has caused me.  I'm no longer my care free, confident self.  I feel broken and exhausted.  Does anyone have any insights?