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Divorce/Separation :
Having the AP forced upon you

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 Caretaker1 (original poster member #42777) posted at 4:25 AM on Thursday, March 20th, 2014

How many of you when going through your divorce with kids had your Stbx bring the AP along to common events?

posts: 234   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2014
id 6729384
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newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 6:07 AM on Thursday, March 20th, 2014

Ugh, I haven't had to deal with this yet, but I know my days are numbered. Hello Kitty is pretending to be fake stepmom of the year. Dd just mentioned tonight that she is rehearsing for a big performance they are going to do at the end of the year. The Gnat has yet to attend a single performance of hers, but just wait, this will be the one he shows up to with the whore in tow.

I know others have already dealt with this and I'm sure they'll be along soon. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. The pain just never ends.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

posts: 1273   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6729448
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 7:35 AM on Thursday, March 20th, 2014

He hasn't dare tried it yet as he knows I would kick up a stink if it was a school thing or extracurricular activity that I arranged.

Plus she is a child herself who dresses like some off-duty street hooker so he would be embarrassed to show everyone what a cliche he is.

If the girls ask for her to be there I might shut my mouth but if she just showed up I doubt I would be able to stop myself for outing them both for the whores they are.

She is more than welcome to that douchebag - not to my life with my girls.

Alas, I'd only be able to kick up a stink once. These parasites don't seem to have a lot of self-respect so I'd just have to get used to it. It would only really burn the first time - I'd have fun with the mummy rumour mill running into overdrive for all of the other times.

[This message edited by SBB at 1:36 AM, March 20th (Thursday)]

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6729469
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 Caretaker1 (original poster member #42777) posted at 3:00 PM on Thursday, March 20th, 2014

Can't make a stink, that would give them what they want. Smile and move through it. These people are assholes and made for one another. It's worse when Stbx ex in laws rub it in your face. Truly immature and idiotic folks. No need for it as divorce with kids is traumatic enough.

posts: 234   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2014
id 6729663
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 12:48 AM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

Ex-shat has not tried this with me yet. In fact, he has yet to show up to a common event for our son....in fact, the one common event I attempted to show up to where *they* were responsible for bringing Teslet, they didn't show up to!!! So, have not been there or done that yet...I'm sure the day will come.

FTG

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6730319
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hoya96 ( member #28851) posted at 1:25 AM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

I am 3.5 years out from divorce and ex has married the AP (who was my best friend).

She comes to all their events.

She insists on being on all email communication from the school, coaches, Girl Scouts, etc.

She attends parent teacher conferences (my children attend the k-12 private school I teach at. On my dime.)

She volunteers as a parent at the school. (again - my workplace).

She emails me and my new husband. I blocked her email. They created a new one.

She approaches us at these events and attempts to talk to us. (We ignore. Then I receive chastising emails from ex).

The list goes on and on.

So, to answer your question, yes.

Me: 43 and fabulous!
3 children ages 13, 15 and 17
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

posts: 345   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2010
id 6730338
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damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 1:42 AM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

It's pretty common for affair couples to be attached at the hip after they divorce their betrayed partners. Part of it is because well lets face it, they can't really trust the person they have thrown their entire life into chaos for. Then of course there is the new burden of establishing themselves as a real couple, trying to be the bestest parents and pillars of the community so they can feel like they have made every one forget that they are cheaters. Not that anyone will.

Instead of being upset. Just remind yourself that the harder they work to flaunt their so-called relationship, the bigger the insecurity they are trying to mask. So be civil and have a good laugh when you get home.

12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.

posts: 49560   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2004   ·   location: Minneapolis
id 6730359
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Ellejay ( member #30498) posted at 3:17 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

I recently had the pleasure of Sir Shagalot bringing OW2 to our son's wedding. It has been 3 years since D-Day so I guess I've been lucky not to have had her in my face before now. If Sir S had had his way she would have been at the engagement party last year also and at our daughter's athletic events but my D and my son and DIL put a stop to it.

Why she would want to be in the same room as a 100 people who know what a whore she is I have no idea unless she feels the need to advertise in person rather than word of mouth.

EJ

Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

posts: 1102   ·   registered: Dec. 23rd, 2010   ·   location: Adelaide, South Australia
id 6730933
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