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Healing happens

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imwideawake posted 3/20/2014 07:09 AM

I'm healed, my kids have healed. It took 5 yrs, but it happened. Yes, there are still scars and I'm sad sometimes. But I am probably 98% recovered. That last 2% may never come and I'm ok with that.

It was rough, let me tell you. I homeschooled my kids and my xwh was/is still a massage therapist who had an at home office as well as worked for a doctor. He had a two yr affair with a client who came to our house weekly. She received free massage (and sex when we weren't home) for two years. When I found out (because she called) it almost killed me. All the heart wrenching pain you all know too well. The fact it happened in my house, under my nose and my kids... Well, I was destroyed and my kids suffered greatly.

To cope with the pain, I started riding a bicycle. It helped so much. Found a therapist, tried hypnotherapy. Just kept trying things. I let myself feel all the pain and eventually things got better. Now I work at a bike shop ( after 18 yrs as a SAHM and am opening my own next year). My kids are in school and thriving. I sometimes cry joyful tears when I see how far we've come. All I ever wanted was a good relationship with my family, close loving bonds. I thought he robbed me of that, but he didn't. We, my girls and I are back where we were before he destroyed it all. I made some mistakes along the way, but I've owned them and acknowledged them to my children and we are all ok.

Be patient with yourself. Let yourself feel all the pain. You can't heal what you don't feel. Slowly, you recover.

And thank you SI friends for all your support!

[This message edited by imwideawake at 7:32 AM, March 20th (Thursday)]

soveryweary posted 3/20/2014 07:21 AM

Bless you for posting this.
May you continue to enjoy your happy life! :0)

Williesmom posted 3/20/2014 07:31 AM

On top of it all, you're just a really cool person.

I'm so glad that you've reached this point.

I feel like my wxh is just a footnote in the life of Williesmom.

cantaccept posted 3/20/2014 08:10 AM

Thank you so much for posting this. I really needed to read this today.

Leaving for 1st court appearance in 5 minutes and my gut is screaming.

I know it's the right path, the only path but it still hurts like hell.

You showed me there is hope. Thank you.

nutmegkitty posted 3/20/2014 08:36 AM

Good stuff. I never get tired of reading posts like this.

damnUnicorns posted 3/20/2014 08:48 AM

I'm glad to read you are doing so well. It's inspirational & I'm hoping someday I can say the same.
It's hard to see it now... in the thick of it. But I'm going to remember this post & work towards that healing.

To continued success! Cheers!

Must Survive posted 3/20/2014 08:59 AM

Thank you Imwideawake.

I needed to see this.

dmari posted 3/20/2014 12:37 PM


Thank you so much for posting! I still wish we had a sticky thread (is that what you call them?) with post-divorce stories such as yours. I think it would be so helpful and give all of us hope.

So happy for you and your children!!

MadeOfScars posted 3/20/2014 12:42 PM

Thank you for posting this, and I am truly happy that you are truly happy!

Be patient with yourself. Let yourself feel all the pain. You can't heal what you don't feel. Slowly, you recover.

Great advice!

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