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Newest Member: Shattered31 (45724)

User Topic: Healing happens
imwideawake
♀ 23386
Member # 23386
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm healed, my kids have healed. It took 5 yrs, but it happened. Yes, there are still scars and I'm sad sometimes. But I am probably 98% recovered. That last 2% may never come and I'm ok with that.

It was rough, let me tell you. I homeschooled my kids and my xwh was/is still a massage therapist who had an at home office as well as worked for a doctor. He had a two yr affair with a client who came to our house weekly. She received free massage (and sex when we weren't home) for two years. When I found out (because she called) it almost killed me. All the heart wrenching pain you all know too well. The fact it happened in my house, under my nose and my kids... Well, I was destroyed and my kids suffered greatly.

To cope with the pain, I started riding a bicycle. It helped so much. Found a therapist, tried hypnotherapy. Just kept trying things. I let myself feel all the pain and eventually things got better. Now I work at a bike shop ( after 18 yrs as a SAHM and am opening my own next year). My kids are in school and thriving. I sometimes cry joyful tears when I see how far we've come. All I ever wanted was a good relationship with my family, close loving bonds. I thought he robbed me of that, but he didn't. We, my girls and I are back where we were before he destroyed it all. I made some mistakes along the way, but I've owned them and acknowledged them to my children and we are all ok.

Be patient with yourself. Let yourself feel all the pain. You can't heal what you don't feel. Slowly, you recover.

And thank you SI friends for all your support!

[This message edited by imwideawake at 7:32 AM, March 20th (Thursday)]


Together 21 years.
Married 19
Me: BW, now 45
Him XWH
dday 9/08
3 daughters, now 20, 19, & 16
Divorced 12/04/12

Posts: 905 | Registered: Mar 2009
soveryweary
♀ 32265
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bless you for posting this.
May you continue to enjoy your happy life! :0)


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 628 | Registered: May 2011
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On top of it all, you're just a really cool person.

I'm so glad that you've reached this point.

I feel like my wxh is just a footnote in the life of Williesmom.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7816 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
cantaccept
♀ 37451
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much for posting this. I really needed to read this today.

Leaving for 1st court appearance in 5 minutes and my gut is screaming.

I know it's the right path, the only path but it still hurts like hell.

You showed me there is hope. Thank you.


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced!


Posts: 1470 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good stuff. I never get tired of reading posts like this.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2611 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
damnUnicorns
♀ 42691
Member # 42691
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad to read you are doing so well. It's inspirational & I'm hoping someday I can say the same.
It's hard to see it now... in the thick of it. But I'm going to remember this post & work towards that healing.

To continued success! Cheers!


Unremorseful WH-48
BW(me)-46
M 26+ years
DS 26, DD 23
H moved out 10/3/12
IN House S, H lost job 2/7/14→now
Dday 1- 3/2002 short EA/PA w-COW
Dday 2- 2/12/14→LTA, H STILL seeing "Bi"MfCOW (OW now S too)!

Posts: 121 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CA
Must Survive
♀ 34533
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Imwideawake.

I needed to see this.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 816 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
dmari
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thank you so much for posting! I still wish we had a sticky thread (is that what you call them?) with post-divorce stories such as yours. I think it would be so helpful and give all of us hope.

So happy for you and your children!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2301 | Registered: Oct 2012
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for posting this, and I am truly happy that you are truly happy!

Be patient with yourself. Let yourself feel all the pain. You can't heal what you don't feel. Slowly, you recover.

Great advice!


“Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity, than straightforward and simple integrity in another.” ― Charles Caleb Colton

Posts: 1352 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 9

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