It was rough, let me tell you. I homeschooled my kids and my xwh was/is still a massage therapist who had an at home office as well as worked for a doctor. He had a two yr affair with a client who came to our house weekly. She received free massage (and sex when we weren't home) for two years. When I found out (because she called) it almost killed me. All the heart wrenching pain you all know too well. The fact it happened in my house, under my nose and my kids... Well, I was destroyed and my kids suffered greatly.
To cope with the pain, I started riding a bicycle. It helped so much. Found a therapist, tried hypnotherapy. Just kept trying things. I let myself feel all the pain and eventually things got better. Now I work at a bike shop ( after 18 yrs as a SAHM and am opening my own next year). My kids are in school and thriving. I sometimes cry joyful tears when I see how far we've come. All I ever wanted was a good relationship with my family, close loving bonds. I thought he robbed me of that, but he didn't. We, my girls and I are back where we were before he destroyed it all. I made some mistakes along the way, but I've owned them and acknowledged them to my children and we are all ok.
Be patient with yourself. Let yourself feel all the pain. You can't heal what you don't feel. Slowly, you recover.
And thank you SI friends for all your support!
[This message edited by imwideawake at 7:32 AM, March 20th (Thursday)]
I'm so glad that you've reached this point.
I feel like my wxh is just a footnote in the life of Williesmom.
Leaving for 1st court appearance in 5 minutes and my gut is screaming.
I know it's the right path, the only path but it still hurts like hell.
You showed me there is hope. Thank you.
dday October 21,2012 dday December 20, 2013 wh deleted I attempted R, he was a lie
Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.
I needed to see this.
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
So happy for you and your children!!
Great advice!
