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Poll - how many dates till you know

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notmeanymore posted 3/20/2014 19:26 PM

How many dates does it take with a new person (someone you've just met) before you know you're interested in being more than friends?

I'm struggling with someone I just met. We got along well and I don't find him unattractive per se. I just feel like I don't know who he is, which could make him either more or less attractive once I find out.

cmego posted 3/20/2014 19:30 PM

First dates are either "maybe" or "no".

Generally by the third date, I'm sure which way it will go.

ProbableIceCream posted 3/20/2014 19:36 PM

cmego -- heh, I thought you were going to say "First dates are either maybe or no. Generally by the third date, it's a solid no."

cmego posted 3/20/2014 19:49 PM

Probable…it generally is a solid NO by the third date :) Only…one guy has made it past date three

Amazonia posted 3/20/2014 19:49 PM

I tend to know from the start whether I'm attracted to someone or not. I've tried to "let it grow" with a few guys who had winning personalities, etc., and inevitably the more time I spent with them, the more confident I was that I just wasn't attracted.

I think an important part of dating is learning yourself, and how you react to other people. Cmego and I (for example) are really different in dating, not better or worse, but different, and I think for both of us, learning our own habits and patterns, like when we sense attraction, helped ease the process, because as you move into that "dating self awareness", you can trust your gut more, and know what you need to look for, what works for you (even if it's different from everyone else you know).

Most of the bad dating advice I've gotten has been trying to convince me that I need to behave in a way that is personal to the person giving the advice, instead of to me.

persevere posted 3/20/2014 21:55 PM

Unless date #1 is a clear no, I'm typically willing to give it a few dates unless something occurs that changes the maybe to a no. Sometimes it takes a few dates to get an impression of people.

fireproof posted 3/20/2014 22:00 PM

I think for those who are less experienced in dating and come out of what we have I realize you can surprise yourself good or bad.

I think it takes time and if it isn't a no practice moderation and see. There is no definition needed unless that is something you all discuss.

Have fun and time will tell

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