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Newest Member: asherssoul (45716)

User Topic: Poll - how many dates till you know
notmeanymore
♀ 9772
Member # 9772
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How many dates does it take with a new person (someone you've just met) before you know you're interested in being more than friends?

I'm struggling with someone I just met. We got along well and I don't find him unattractive per se. I just feel like I don't know who he is, which could make him either more or less attractive once I find out.


"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers

Posts: 877 | Registered: Feb 2006
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First dates are either "maybe" or "no".

Generally by the third date, I'm sure which way it will go.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4215 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
ProbableIceCream
♂ 37468
Member # 37468
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cmego -- heh, I thought you were going to say "First dates are either maybe or no. Generally by the third date, it's a solid no."


Me, 32. DD, 8. DS, 6 (deceased).

Posts: 846 | Registered: Nov 2012
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Probable…it generally is a solid NO by the third date :) Only…one guy has made it past date three


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4215 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tend to know from the start whether I'm attracted to someone or not. I've tried to "let it grow" with a few guys who had winning personalities, etc., and inevitably the more time I spent with them, the more confident I was that I just wasn't attracted.

I think an important part of dating is learning yourself, and how you react to other people. Cmego and I (for example) are really different in dating, not better or worse, but different, and I think for both of us, learning our own habits and patterns, like when we sense attraction, helped ease the process, because as you move into that "dating self awareness", you can trust your gut more, and know what you need to look for, what works for you (even if it's different from everyone else you know).

Most of the bad dating advice I've gotten has been trying to convince me that I need to behave in a way that is personal to the person giving the advice, instead of to me.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13858 | Registered: Jul 2011
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unless date #1 is a clear no, I'm typically willing to give it a few dates unless something occurs that changes the maybe to a no. Sometimes it takes a few dates to get an impression of people.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4668 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
fireproof
♀ 36126
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, March 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think for those who are less experienced in dating and come out of what we have I realize you can surprise yourself good or bad.

I think it takes time and if it isn't a no practice moderation and see. There is no definition needed unless that is something you all discuss.

Have fun and time will tell


Posts: 1055 | Registered: Jul 2012
Topic Posts: 7

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