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General :
Should I do it?

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 DTERMINED2SURVIV (original poster member #42294) posted at 1:50 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

Okay, so there is this really crazy chic on my fwh,.... well ALL social media sites. He is a musician so he has music sites that dont allow blocking. They are basically just to share music files. People can make accounts and use a messenger but there is no blocking capapbilities. He has blocked her once on FB and she made a new account. He has told her several times he is working on his family and she keeps saying "sorry, its not like im throwing myself at you." Literally all she does is throw herself at him. She offers him nude pictures, she constantly is asking if she can suck his d--k, that "when" we break up she "knows" they will be together and that she can make him happy. (this is what she told a friend of his and he came back and told me). She is a complete psycho. I have confronted her also but I think she likes that it pisses me off, it fuels her fire. So im sitting her thinking to myself. What can I do to cause her some problems?

Why am I thinking this way? Well the only thing I can really do without just showing up at her job and beating her ass is.....reporting her to Department Of Children and Families. I know she smokes weed. Ive heard that she sells it too, but maybe thats just a rumor. I know she smokes though. Im conflicted. I would get some jollys out of doing it, but sometimes I think things work themselves out. Usually a woman realizes "hey, this man wants nothing to do with me" and backs away but not her. She is literally like the chick from the movie Obsessed. I wish I could drop her from my ceiling!! I wouldnt have even grabbed her hand to save her like beyonce did lol. I know this wont stop her. She is the type she would leave her kids home alone to come suck his thing for 5 minutes then go back home. She has no convo for him, literally all she does is try to get him to you know what. I guess thats the only tool she has. A vagina, a nasty one at that. Yeah, she sent a pic one day and he showed it to me. She also kind of reminds me of jodi arias lol. She seems real shy, but crazy. Oh lord.

Well, what do you guys think? I was literally in the middle of doing it when I got confused. Suggestions?!


posts: 272   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Where theres lots of southern HOEspitality
id 6730783
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4everfaithful83 ( member #41761) posted at 2:00 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

hmm...I'm not that familiar with this, but it seems more like stalking? Maybe you can file a police report and get a restraining order?? What a crazy bitch!!

Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...

ME: 36
1 doggie
DDay: June 24th, 2013
DDay 2 : August 22nd,2017

Left him August 26th, 2017

posts: 818   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 6730794
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Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 2:10 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

I think the problem is your husband. Why did he feel the need t tell her he was working on his marriage, thus signaling he's having marital problems? Does he respond at all, even to say leave me alone? If so, it gives her attention. Does he enjoy the ego kibbles? How did she even begin sending messages? Did they used to talk? Did he give off a vibe? Are you sure he isn't encouraging her without you knowing?

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

posts: 2031   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2012
id 6730811
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 2:14 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

I understand why you want revenge. But don't involve her kids. They will come in and remove her children. Something like that affects a kid forever. You didn't say she was a bad mom. A whore? Yes. Smokes pot? Ok. But what you want to do directly affects her kids, just as much as it will affect her..but sadly, probably more so.

She isn't the problem. Your WH is. She can lay naked in front of him, he can walk away. If your WH is a musician who has women throwing themselves at him all the time, then this woman is just one of many. What she says doesn't matter. HE is the one in control of himself.

Ignore.

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 6730817
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:18 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

How about posting all her pictures (nasty va jay jay and all) and messages to your WH on her FB page and the fake one? Make sure you send it to all her friends on her real FB page. I don't know if this is a good idea, I don't know what repercussions this could cause. But, I feel if she is exposed to everyone than maybe she will be embarrassed and feel like the slut she is and knock it off.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6730823
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BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 2:18 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

I agree your husband should file for a restraining order.

What happens if the authorities decide you made a frivolous claim to get back at her? What does that legally mean for you?

Even if they did do something to her, it's unlikely to change her constant contact with you husband.

Don't get yourself otherwise involved with legal shit with her. If you know she's neglected her kids for fact that's one thing- but don't make a claim on a guess, driven by anger from another situation.

You need something that changes her access to him. Your husband should file for a restraining order. Use the laws available to you in the right way.

Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010

posts: 5437   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 6730824
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 DTERMINED2SURVIV (original poster member #42294) posted at 2:21 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

@KELANY all very good questions! However as a woman I know the difference between him doing something to cause this and not. Originally she heard his music and contacted him through FB telling him how much she loved his music how much he inspired her (the usual with these women)He of course said thank you and that his fans encourage him to keep going yadda yadda yadda. They talked a few more times, all open to me. I dont expect him to be a complete asshole to all these girls. I understand that with his music he has to be somewhat personable to these people. The way he communicated with her is no different then he would a man who said the same thing. Eventually though, she started writing things like "I could make you so happy" One day he posted that he hadnt been to sleep and she messaged him saying "If i were there id make you breakfast, give you a massage and then put it on you like bam" I had already did that. When she would write stuff like that he just wouldnt respond. Well, when all hell broke loose and he told me about OW/OC he outted himself on his social media. So EVERYONE knew what he did. This is where the "working on my family came into play" Now, she will do anything to get his attention. Like send a NUDE picture. At this point he doesnt respond at all. Even hello or thank you....its just getting annoying.

@Sistermilkshake: He actually sent the picture out...He stated that he wanted to post it to social media and ask "does anybody know who I belong too" but was worried hed get in trouble for posting it since he has underage teens on his networks.

This is the true definition of a crazy groupie

[This message edited by DTERMINED2SURVIV at 8:33 AM, March 21st (Friday)]


posts: 272   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Where theres lots of southern HOEspitality
id 6730833
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refuz2bavictim ( member #27176) posted at 2:33 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

Is this a situation where she *knows* people he knows? Not just in a social media capacity?

If she is psycho and gets off on the conflict, the LAST thing I would do, is throw my hat in the arena.

I'd start keeping a paper trail in case she escalates in the future...which would include a conversation with a lawyer and the police. Let a lawyer inform her that further contact will be considered harassment.

I would also ask mutual acquaintances to stop sharing info between all of you. That isn't helping. Ask them not to info share with her, and to refuse to provide her with anything other than an "I don't know".

FWH needs to go crickets...no more explaining anything.

The ONLY communication she should get is from an attorney or the police. Other than that, I think it's a mistake for either of you to entertain her provocations. Let a 3rd party professional handle it.

Foresight is 2020

posts: 2414   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2010
id 6730851
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kate0421 ( member #40819) posted at 2:38 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

I know this is probably wrong but I'm totally with exposing her nude pictures. Like if she sends a new one, I would have WS post... He everyone as you know I'm working on my marriage and totally invested to the love of my life, my wife... this nasty whore, anybody want to take her so she will leave me the F alone? I love my fans but have no respect for anyone trying to destroy my marriage.

Post it ALL over social media. Get everyone to see it. Even if they don't know the whore.

Idk if this is a great idea, but seeing he outed what he has done to his fans and all, I don't see how showing he is committed could hurt. And on the plus side, I don't think anymore woman would dare to send nude pics and stuff for fear of social media... not sure how this would end, but it sure is an awesome fantasy!

ME: BW
HIM: WH
Together over 13yrs
2 children
DDAY 9/23/2013- 2 ONS (2009-2010)
TT. 5/14/2014- slept with OW1 twice

posts: 332   ·   registered: Sep. 28th, 2013   ·   location: Florida
id 6730857
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Faithful w/Love ( member #33128) posted at 2:47 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

Does she live near you? If not she is just a crusher trying to get his attention. This I would not worry about. IF your wh is not responding to her than that should tell you something also. These chicks go to the extreme and there is nothing we can really do but be better as a woman and person.

I understand your concerns but look at how immature she is! I mean come on! She doesn't know him from boo and she is sending him naked pics?

She is a groupie nothing more!

BS(ME)41 WH(HIM)38
DD 21 and DS 16
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"

posts: 2947   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011
id 6730873
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dameia ( member #36072) posted at 3:28 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

Only report her to CPS if you think she is an unfit mother and her kids are in danger.

For instance....if she smokes a joint outside after they go to bed...meh, gray area. If she's getting high in the house, with her children present, report.

What concerns me is that you said she would leave her kids alone to come see your husband. Depending on their ages this is HIGHLY dangerous. There are news stories all the time about young children getting hurt or dying when their parents left them alone.

Don't drag her kids down just for revenge. They've innocent and foster care can be rough. However, if they're truly in danger, then you have a moral obligation to report.

Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

posts: 1470   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012
id 6730950
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 DTERMINED2SURVIV (original poster member #42294) posted at 5:07 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

LOL at kate0421...Yes, im pretty sure theyd think twice then! Ive decided im not going to report to cps since MOST of it is hear-say. I do KNOW like I said she is a "stoner" and do know that she is known for having drug dealers in and out of her house, but I dont know that she is one. All of which I have learned through FB (its amazing what ppl post). She does live in my area so that sucks. I think I will tell fws if it continues to write her stating if she doesnt stop he will put a restraining order. See if that works!

I certainly dont act or feel like this about every woman that writes him but its sad im willing to stoop that low. I guess at a point being the "bigger person" feels like being a smaller person. That blows! I dont think I should involve her kids.

Ill TRY to let it go for now and let KARMA be the bitch!


posts: 272   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Where theres lots of southern HOEspitality
id 6731102
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