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Hurry Up and Heal Already!
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NGFinishLast posted 3/21/2014 08:18 AM
When it comes to my emotions lately, I can't help but feel like an athlete being carted off the field during the big game. I'm more frustrated by the fact that I can't play than I'm actually hurt.
I haven't shed a tear over Ex-WW in God knows how long. She does things here and there to get my attention or a rise out of me, but I'm genuinely surprised by how little I care. At first I thought that I was lying to myself, and I waited for some type of breakdown to occur days later. Nope. Nothing. It's been this way for months now.
Despite my apathy toward her, I recognize that I still have a lot of scars. I know that it takes time, so I'm not rushing anything. It's just annoying that I really want to get back out there and move on, but I'm on injured reserve right now.
I'm kinda dating someone right now who's in a similar boat. It's slightly amusing, because both of us are so guarded that it's like we're dating through a fence. We've been very open about our trust issues, unwillingness to make anything official, and irrational mood swings toward whatever it is we've got going. I'm learning a lot about my recovery process by watching her go through hers.
I really just wish I could get my head back in the game.
homewrecked2011 posted 3/21/2014 08:27 AM
THank you for this post!
I am also frustrated by how I don't "reason" things out correctly - both at work and with men.
I am 2 years out from DDAY. I believe the trauma we have been thru will continue to move further and further out of the picture the more "good" things come back into the forefront of our daily living.