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Has any one ever tried Discernment Counseling?

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Crushed15Feb13 posted 3/21/2014 09:25 AM

My WW and I are looking into this. Its apparently short term, with both joint and individual sessions. Its designed to help clarify in the minds of the couple whether to stay together or separate.

HUFI-PUFI posted 3/21/2014 09:42 AM

I've never heard of this before but given the tone of a lot of posts in recent months , there does seem to be a need for it.

sisoon posted 3/21/2014 10:13 AM

IMO, it doesn't really matter what the counseling is called - the success depends primarily on the skills of the C, the motivations of clients, and the clients' willingness to do the necessary work.

My reading of the article is that they do the same things as MCs do. Maybe - maybe - they pin the clients down WRT their real goals more than most MCs do, which is a very good thing to do, but ....

For example:

"Around 30 percent of the couples coming into marriage counseling are mixed agenda couples," he says. "Divorce is on the table for one of the parties. Traditional marriage counseling has no way to deal with those people. It's been area of frustration for a lot of marriage counselors."

My bet is that D is on the table for very close to 100% of couples hit by cheating, and good old vanilla MC works for many of us. Good MC fails if one or both of the partners lie to each other and/or to the C, but lying will kill 'Discernment Counseling' just as dead.

"It's almost always a good idea to slow it down and look at the marriage from five different angles, including what your own role in it was...."

This is scary - it could mean blaming the BS for the WS's cheating.

'Discernment Counseling' as a new modality sounds like bullshit to me.

More important, though, is that practitioners of 'DC' could be very good, so if you hear of someone who may help you, it makes sense to call, chat a bit, and make an appointment if the C sounds good.

Even though something is marketed with unjustifiable hype, the 'product' being hyped could be very good....

(signed) sisoon, who regularly gets triggered by suspected marketing hype

[This message edited by sisoon at 10:14 AM, March 21st (Friday)]

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