Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze...
I feel your pain! It just flat out sucks! But know that with your DDAY so close you are going to have mixed emotions.
I remember when I would have one day where I really wanted R and to work it out, and the next day I (literally!!!) was fantasizing about how to get away with murder. LOL. I know it sounds cliche, but it really does just take time.
There's no point in making HUGE decisions like that right now. I'd read the healing library and practice the 180. Give yourself 6 months to decide what you want, and just work on you. Once you realize you're in a place where you'd be OK with ORwithout your WH, you'll be able to make the right choice.
I hope you find some comfort today, and know that you are not alone in this.
Together 9 years
DDay: June 24, 2013