SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

WeepingBuddhist posted 3/21/2014 12:34 PM

I'm doing OK in the place, new job, new state. It's all just about as overwhelming as it sounds but it's been mostly OK until today. I've got a cold and my tank is empty so to speak. D was mostly amicable and we have a lot of contact as we sort out the house. I clicked on wasband's google circle thing and there SHE was. Skankenstein. the first one. The crazy bitch he broke it off with last year before I even knew she existed. Maybe she's been there all along. Maybe they have reconnected. Maybe he's seeing her AND having a long-distance relationship with his college GF. When I left my previous job, I deliberately didn't copy the file I had of all the pics and crazy shit I found out about her. I wanted a new life and now this skank is back in my head. I know, I know...just don't click on it. I tried that excellent advice. I feel sucker punched. I had banished that skank from my head and now, poof, she's back and I'm pissed and sad and all the shit I should be at wasband but have put aside to get here, to point B, without a lot of drama.

Thanks for listening.

nowiknow23 posted 3/21/2014 12:48 PM

(((((WB))))) I'm so sorry she popped in again. Block block block. Banish her from your new beginning and don't let her get even a toehold in your brain.

dmari posted 3/21/2014 12:52 PM

(((((WB)))))

norabird posted 3/21/2014 14:17 PM

I'm sorry.

This too shall pass.

It is corny but it is true.

Unfortunately it isn't a speedway type of passing and sometimes you go round and round a little before the exit.

(((WB)))

WeepingBuddhist posted 3/21/2014 15:04 PM

You guys are the best. I'll get through this. I just freaking hate that I had to think about her for even a minute.

I'm heading home soon to my fur baby and some Nyquil.

Oftencheatedon posted 3/21/2014 16:09 PM

Have you finished sorting out the house?

You didn't mention children so I am assuming that's not an issue.

What has worked best for me is ending ALL contact with the ex cheater. No phone calls, no texts, no FB friends, etc. Just one big ERASE.

My job caused me to move across country many times. It's not easy to move to a new place alone, but I've done it successfully enough times that it doesn't bother me anymore.

hexed posted 3/21/2014 20:14 PM

((WB)) this is such a hard time. truly you're still early in the healing process.

my X dragged me through a year of going back and forth between me and OW. it was awful to constantly have her in and out of my world.

He's still with OW 6yrs later. Now most of the time I don't even notice when OW's world's overlap from time to time with mine via mutual friends. On my good phases, I could even be in the same room with her if I had too. During worse times, I just don't want to see her but I don't really care anymore. She stepped in and replaced me in social circles. This used to upset me a lot. Now I don't care at all.

As you heal, this will annoy you less and less but right now it totally makes sense. Don't let her take too much of your energy. You need your energy to recharge right now! Get well! :)

WeepingBuddhist posted 3/24/2014 08:06 AM

It will be another month or so before the house situation is fully resolved (mostly because he is fairly useless when it comes to meeting his obligations without Mommy around to help get shit done). And it's been OK until the other day.

I've had a weekend of rest, naps, and nyquil and have banished that sorry ass skank---mostly :)from my head.

Thanks again SI!!!