"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
..he knows why ..and I think you do also..it's not complicated..
..he thought he could get some on the side
..he thought you'd never find out
..he got his ego stroked
..he was selfish
..he enjoyed the excitement
..he got to have a secret life
..he got the validation
..he got to live out a fantasy
..one can't read on this site without learning about all the reasons that are posted for the 'whys' of the affairs
..the list is a mile long.
He just doesn't want to admit to you, the reasons why he stepped out of the marriage, because.then he'd have to admit them to himself!
..so sorry you're here.. so sorry any of us are here!!
So has he been in IC for the entire 4 years?
I was pretty broken and I can tell you there were many lightbulbs that turned on for me after a few years.
What has he learned about himself? Has he found any pieces in him that were/are broken? Does he connect the dots from his issues to their origin?
What is he able to share with you about his IC?
D-Day, June 10, 2012
If my W asked me for the whys of my dysfunctions, I don't think I could answer cogently, but I do think I know a lot about the ways in which I've changed, even though W & I disagree on a few of the changes.