Hi Good Survivors,
Its now 11 months since DD. My emotions still run crazy. Have just been limping along…
I owe you all an update.
1. So immediately after DD went for STD. Together. came out clean. Both of us.
2. Did a paternity test and confirmed, much to my relief, that I fathered both of my kids.
3. Caused NC. As far as I know there has been no contact with OM.
4. Was able to establish, by tracing call logs that A started three years ago. So the affair had been running for 3 years of our 8 year marriage.
5. Succumbed to HB within a week after DD and it was raw, what with negative STD tests!! But looking back I Feel like I betrayed myself. I felt bad afterwards. I feel that I lost my bargaining power (how long did it take some of you before HB kicked in??)… will come to this feeling later…..
6. Decided to try R because of the MY KIDS who I love to death (but also largely motivated by the positive paternity test!!)
But as of now, I am NOT impressed with the progress on R. Here is why:
R started well but I find that I have to do a disproportionate share of the work like sourcing reading material and urging former WW to go for IC.
What drives me crazy is the lying. Stories don’t add up:
She claims they only had sex once during the whole three years of the A???!! She claims after the sexual encounter it turned into an emotional affair?? Could this be true?? If not true, what else could FWW be hiding??
Also information is not easily volunteered. I have to probe to probe. I find this exhausting.
Her strategy seems to be: talk less. Volunteer no info. If not asked, don’t tell.
Put simply, I am not happy with the way R is going and that’s why I say I regret I was betrayed by HB.
With one year anniversary around the corner what should I do? What should I demand?
What did you guys do on your year’s anniversary after DD.
Confused. Rumbling thoughts but could do with some pep talk.
Love ya all,
Guss
BS(me)48
FWW 46
2 kids..9, 7
M: May, 2004
D-Day: April, 20, 2013
Status: R? I don't know..I hope. I don’t know… I hope…Keeps changing…