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Divorce/Separation :
Even his own therapist agreed with me!

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laughing

 risingfromashes (original poster member #3903) posted at 11:27 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

He is court ordered to maintain health insurance for myself and our daughters. Last week he begins this

bully campaign to take his name off the policy and make me the subscriber. This will save him a fairly substantial amount each month. Yes, but then, legally I am responsible. When I bring up this up:

But don't worry Rising I will still pay the bill each month.

Oh No! This is not flying with me. When I ask what guarantee I have he actually says (Drum Roll)

You don't trust me to take care of my family?

Please exass do not use big words that you do not understand. Put the $$ into an escrow account or notarize a document that you will pay or take care of my court costs and any medical costs if you let the policy lapse. He is outraged and indignant.

He threatens to cancel the policy at the end of the month because he has fulfilled his responsibility to provide insurance but I am refusing it.

Call my lawyer who is outraged at the ex's tactics. Tells me he will contact ex's lawyer and in addition will not charge me (Really that is amazing).

Ex calls the next day agreeing to my contingencies. He spoke to his Therapist who told him :

Why would she trust you?

Made me laugh! Dumbass, even your your therapist knows who/what you are.

[This message edited by risingfromashes at 6:10 PM, March 21st (Friday)]

posts: 2148   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2004
id 6731570
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Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 11:53 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

Good for you for standing up to him. Another win!!!!

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 6731591
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 11:55 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2014

Go, therapist!

Your lawyer is a keeper, rising.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6731592
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 12:08 AM on Saturday, March 22nd, 2014

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6731609
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LoveHerStill ( member #31504) posted at 4:00 AM on Saturday, March 22nd, 2014

My XWW has broken almost every promise made to me during and post-D. She also let my health insurance lapse and it was part of the decree. I never pursued it because I was able to get it through a new job. I can't believe how many promises and agreements she broke. All of the important ones she broke with no explanation or remorse, just sorry, I can't do that anymore.

I no longer trust anything she says. It doesn't matter anymore because she never contacts me anymore except for an obligatory happy birthday or christmas text. Literally, that's it, after 26 years together, that's it!

Boggles my mind! I have a much clearer understanding of quantum mechanics and quantum uncertainty principles than I do of the woman I knew for 26 years. I do realize that I am not alone in this, but it does feel lonely.

Peace to us all.

Me BH-45 @ Dday
Her WW-44 @ Dday
Married-20yrs
Together-26yrs
D-Day 4/11/10
Divorced 9/13/2010
XWW Married OM 5/23/2011

It only hurts when I breathe.

posts: 774   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2011   ·   location: Coeur d 'Alene, Idaho
id 6731796
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 4:19 AM on Saturday, March 22nd, 2014

Please exass do not use big words that you do not understand.

Unbelievable how indignant they become when they are treated with an appropriate level of trust.

The sad clown arranges/pays for all out of school care - it has to be in his name so he can get all of the government rebates etc. Before our decree was final my big girl had her first school holidays. He decided because vacation care was not specifically mentioned he doesn't need to pay - whatever - the fucked up part is he didn't tell me until a few days before the holidays. He KNEW this was our verbal agreement and he KNEW he was reneging on it. Still, he chose not to inform me until the last minute.

I had to do a mad run-around to find care for her - I explained what he had done to the care people and they were all shocked "AYFKM?? That is low!" was the gist of thee reaction. I sorted it all out in the end.

Fast forward to next holidays and decree is in place with vacation care costs 70/30 and he suggests he book/pay for it all and I reimburse him. I tell him no - I won't be exposed like last time. Ill book/pay for my own dates and we'll each reimburse. No bundling. No handshake agreements with men without honour.

WTFever dude, you have no integrity so please stop expecting to be treated like you do.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6731803
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