I am not in a position to leave...though I dream about it. I'm not sure if the depression is making me a crappy mom or if the way my husband and kids treats me is causing me to be this way. I am angry when I am home or have to be around my family, I have very little motivation, I have put my school work on disregard, my house is a mess, I have intrusive thoughts...but I'm okay when I am not home.
If it's not true depression this time around, the AD's won't help...correct? I'm giving up on my Prozac and will see the doctor in a couple days and see what they think about me going back on Pristiq.
I wouldn't advise anyone to stop a med without the supervision of a doctor, which is what I eventually did.
It was a much better experience!
"Your secrets keep you sick"
It sounds to me like there might still be some depression going on, and I tend to personally think that a multi-pronged approach works the best... medication if necessary or helpful, IC, support groups, support of close friends/family if possible.
Are you seeing an IC for the other things in your life that are troubling you? Sounds like you have quite a lot on your plate right now.
Have spent many hours up at night thinking about all kinds of things
This makes me think anxiety. Some anti-d help with anxiety and others do not help much.
DO NOT stop taking your anti-d without consulting with a Dr. You need to wean yourself off the anti-d under a Dr supervision. If you stop cold turkey you could have a psychotic episode. I have a family member who committed suicide while in the middle of a psychotic episode within a few days of stopping anti-d cold turkey.
If prisic has helped you in the past and you do not feel like prozac is helping you now, then definitely discuss this with your Dr. Do also mention the anxiety to your Dr. When I was having major anxiety (along with depression) after my X left, xanax was a God send. Your Dr may have other meds that he/she want to prescribe, so listen to them. I am just using xanax as an example of an anti anxiety drug.
You may also be completely fed up. If so, then you need to make some changes in your life so you are not as fed up. But if your brain is whirling then it is hard to think strait to figure out what changes you can realistically make. For example, running off to Paris is a solution, but it is not realistic because you have responsibilities that you cannot walk away from (i.e., kids, job, bills, etc) But it sure sounds nice.... But is your brain is whirling and all you can think about is Paris, then you will not be able to think about what other more realistic options that you may have.
Good luck. I hope you start to feel better soon!
[This message edited by Dreamboat at 11:40 PM, March 21st (Friday)]
I guess I'm just concerned that the Prozac isn't working when it generally always has. I don't like switching to new meds because I have had bad reactions to some. Fortunately I am very sensitive to most meds so I will know pretty quickly if an AD is no good for me. Just makes me anxious thinking about trying something new to me. We'll see what my doctor says about Pristiq on Wednesday, though this is just a general doc and not psych. I need to get back in with my counselor. Psych runs too much with my insurance so I'll just have to work with my general doc for my rx's. It's a $20 copay vs a $150 copay per visit....so, yeah general doctor wins.
And I feel like I should know this, but once I find the one that makes me feel better, does that mean I will just be accepting of the way my husband and kids treat me? I don't want to be a doormat.
once I find the one that makes me feel better, does that mean I will just be accepting of the way my husband and kids treat me?
Once you start to feel better you will be able to determine how much of your anger and frustration is your depression "speaking" and how much is because of true disrespect from your family members. And you DO NOT have to accept being disrespected.
I suggest that you determine what words and actions (or inactions) make you feel the most disrespected. And then tell your family "You cannot say/do that to me anymore. Those workds/action are unacceptable because they are disrespectful". Then if the words or actions continue, you either go 180 or go "on strike". If you decide to go on strike, then tell them (or whichever one/ones) that you refuse to be disrespected and because they continue to use those words/do those action then you will no longer help them by doing x, y, or z. And if you do go on strike, make sure you pick something that they value. For my DD she values me preparing food for her. When she disrespects me, I stop preparing food. I make sure there is food in the house, but she has to feed herself. It has gotten to the point that now I only have to warn her when she is disrespectful and she gets back in line. So pick something that they value -- cooking/food prep, laundry, rides to friend's house, physical attention (ie, sex for your H), clean house, etc.
In addition to being disrespected by your family, you should also examine other areas in your life. Do you feel you are missing something? Is there a dream or hobby you would like to pursue but you feel you do not have the time or don't know how to start? Is there something else in your life besides family that is making you feel overwhelmed or unhappy? Can you change anything about that?
That is what I meant when I said that once you can think clearly you can determine what changes you need to make in your life. Even if you cannot do anything immediately, you can start to plan what you could do in the future and start to make steps towards that.