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Softcentre posted 3/23/2014 03:19 AM

He put his wedding ring back on for his mum's funeral. I actually didn't notice at first (I don't look for it anymore, it's been almost a year since he took it off) someone pointed it out to me. It's been over a week and he's still wearing it.

I'm assuming it's some passive aggressive game playing? What do you think?

Maybe something along the lines of?:

I'll put my ring on and see if she notices. That will tell me if she cares.

or?:

I want to talk to her but she wants to file, so I'll hedge my bets, wear my ring and get her to start the conversation so that I won't have made myself vulnerable

But you know what? I'm done with p/a games. Wearing your ring and hoping I'll notice? Yes I've noticed. But I'm not going to play your game. You want to talk to me? Then talk to me. Make yourself vulnerable for once. Risk it....or don't. Your choice.

Caretaker1 posted 3/23/2014 03:55 AM

He's trying it seems. Do you want to reconcile?

Gemini71 posted 3/23/2014 08:06 AM

Sounds like he's following the cheaters handbook and getting ready to blame YOU for the divorce when you file. Don't fall for this p/a manipulation bull.

Take2 posted 3/23/2014 08:30 AM

My thought when the ring reappeared was: "yeah, you slept with how many other women while wearing it...?" Does not count as an action in my book.

tesla posted 3/23/2014 08:39 AM

In the great scheme of the universe, him slipping a ring off or slipping a ring on his finger barely registers. Ok, let's be real, it doesn't register. Now, perhaps in his mind this is a great cosmic shift...but then he probably thinks grandiose thoughts of himself and his actions.

Softcentre posted 3/23/2014 15:28 PM

He knows my minimum requirements for considering R:

1. Cut off all contact with Fat Bottomed Girl and her circle of friends
2. Stop flirting with other women, don't spend one on one time with other women (incl social media etc), don't talk about our relationship with people of the opposite sex
3. Get back into counselling to work on his issues
4. Be honest about all that has happened, incl during S
5. Start by dating me and see where it goes.

Funnily enough...putting his ring back on was not on that list. I've yet to see that he has done anything on that list. But I'm happy for him to show me otherwise.

[This message edited by Softcentre at 4:08 PM, March 23rd, 2014 (Sunday)]

BtraydWife posted 3/23/2014 15:46 PM

Now, perhaps in his mind this is a great cosmic shift...but then he probably thinks grandiose thoughts of himself and his actions.

This.

It's certainly for his benefit in some way. He hasn't met your list. Ignore him.