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leave them to each other?

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hopefulmother posted 3/23/2014 12:25 PM

Ever wonder if we should just leave these broken WS to their APs? Just leave all the broken ones to the broken ones, while the BS just go with the other BS out there and make meaningful relationships.

Not that I want to leave mine. It is just that even after 15months...I get so angry at the WS in the Just Found Out Forum.

Anyone else get so angry on their behalf?

Guess the broken ones don't want to stay with each other...just play with each other.

honkytonk28 posted 3/23/2014 12:30 PM

this is exactly what I did.

my new boyfriend had been cheated on by his last girlfriend so we are incredibly understanding and giving and therapeutic for and with each other. we might not get married but I'm happy (and sad) to find someone who truly knows what it feels like and why we ourselves could never do it.

let the ws have what he 'thought' he wanted. doesn't look like he wants it so much anymore.

hopefulmother posted 3/23/2014 12:38 PM

Good for you Honkytonk 28!!!

FightingBack posted 3/23/2014 12:42 PM

Leaving them to each other would be the ultimate and most deserving punishment.

Wodnships posted 3/23/2014 12:47 PM

I gave my wife a clear choice the day after D-day. She could stay with me have NC with him immediately, we would go to MC, she would go to IC and work out her personal issues.


She could leave and have him. And she had two weeks to get out of my house. Because I wasn't going to pay for her to figure out how to be with him.

I did add one little argument. If you want to call it that. I told her "Funny thing about running from yourself is when you get there, there you are."

She chose to stay and accept my conditions. If she had chose to leave and go be with him. I was already looking at thank you cards for the guy. As I said in another thread if he could take her away that just means someone else could have. I owe him a thank you for doing in now instead of later.

hopefulmother posted 3/23/2014 13:46 PM

So true Wodnships.

In some way, they helped to reveal who we are truly married to.

No matter what, we as BS can escape that. The WS will never be able to escape themselves. Sure, they can continue to live a life of denial but it will blow up one day.

Catwoman posted 3/23/2014 18:51 PM

My ex chose the affair partner. Moved in with her and her children (and never told me he had moved) long before the divorce was final.

It didn't just end, it imploded. He hates her even more than he hates me, which is saying something.

Two broken, deceitful people with bad boundaries do not a stable relationship make.

However, I cringe when I hear other BSs believe that finding another BS is the Holy Grail of dating. It isn't. I briefly dated on BS and found there was just too much hurt for things to work between us. I dated another who cheated on me. There are quite a few mad hatters here, which leads me to believe this happens more than we care to think. Personally, I would rather cast my lot with a WS who had done the hard work on themselves and really learned and grew from dealing and healing from the consequences of their actions than with a BS who has only their "BS-hood" to recommend them.


LeftOutintheCold posted 3/23/2014 19:01 PM

While right now I want nothing more than my WH to be back home with me, I truly believe that the WS's are deserving of one another.

Two married people cheating on their spouses with each other will get all that they deserve - unhappiness and no trust in each other. I mean, I would think when you enter into a "relationship" under lies and deceit, wouldn't you, at one point, wonder if the other person is being true to them?

AndreaL posted 3/23/2014 19:36 PM

My mother did this with my father, and lets just say my dad and his AP lasted seconds, before he came begging back, and my mother told him to f$&? Off!

Jduff posted 3/24/2014 00:06 AM

I've read and heard stories of WSs and APs running off into the sunset together... Only to get burned by the sun in the end. I smile when I read or hear about those.

I'm dating a BW who had been long past her own dday and healing and it is been an incredible relationship for us. However, two "recently" made BS is likely not a good idea. Maybe just as friends for support.

Mine was patient with me, but there were a lot of other factors that's making our relationship work.

stillhere09 posted 3/24/2014 06:11 AM

I could have written honkytonk's response.

I left my WH to his AP - finally. After I left, she moved in. I'm sure it was a dream come true for both of them. It lasted less than a month before she was moving out and both of them screaming at each other, so my neighbor said. I was in NC with him.

Hoops posted 3/24/2014 15:56 PM

Mine didn't leave for the OW but I am long divorced, and much happier for it! But the OW left her first H for her affair partner and they got married.

The OW, let's call her Whoreable, was first married to Sap. Whoreable cheats on Sap with Sludge. Sludge and Whoreable get married (ironically his last name is Gross ..... his ironic from both ends!). Sludge cheats on Whoreable ...... who ever would have seen that coming!!!! They had recently broken up up when she and my ex, Creepy, befriend one another. Sludge thought Whoreable was too much of a bitch to live with this is a direct quote from her email to Creepy (which I have). Amazing!

To add a little more to the story, she was all about going to church and acting like she was just this really great person and kept telling Creepy what a great guy he was and how admirable it was that he was going home to try to work it out with his wife. And one of the other classic lines between the two of the ..... they met at some church sponsered fair ..... they joked about how maybe "church name" was the patron saint of torrid affairs and they could meetup next year!!! Looking back I just laugh, what morons!!!!

I am surprised the church doors didn't explode in flames every time she entered.

Don't know where either of them are in life but I am not really sorry they did it. I learned a lot and am grateful for where I am now. And they have to live with themselves.

For me it a worked out in the end.

Ostrich80 posted 3/24/2014 20:39 PM

Oh boy, I told my ws to go move in with her and I told her to come get em cuz he wasn't taking my truck. Neither one took the advice, just chose to sneak around instead. I bet they coukdnt stand each other if they didn't have me to blame for blocking their love.
As far as bs going with another bs...I personally don't think I would be good dating material. I don't even trust the trustworthy's

TheBestMe posted 3/24/2014 20:44 PM

I told H to go be with AP they deserved each other. He looked at me like I said something that was so crazy As if the thought of living with her was unimaginable.

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