First, I'm interested in any input, positive or negative, on this thread.
My DS19, yes he's young, tried college for a year, flunked out, was living with me, semi-working, and now has moved out to our hometown to work - there is lots of oil/gas contract work there - they are hiring and paying well. He worked one contract job for several weeks at 60-80 hours per week, then when it ended decided to just stop and live off what he made. (Which won't last long...but I'm not paying his rent this time)
I pay for his phone and his car insurance (I also bought the car so it's in my name).
After he moved out I noticed a few things missing. It turns out he either sold them or gave them away.
However, he won't admit it. My DD21, his older sister told me about one item he sold, she didn't know about the others. And he refuses to take responsibility for any of it, claims he knows nothing.
So, after our last conversation I gave him some time to come clean, and he has not. So, I gave him a week to honestly discuss this with me and to have a work plan or I would turn off his phone, and subsequently take his vehicle. He has not responded so I turned off his phone this weekend. Still no response.
This kills me because the last thing I want to do is cut off contact with my child. But I set the boundary so I have to enforce it. My DD said she would talk to him because in her words, "He's being unfair and stupid mom". (She goes to school in the same town) But it's still hard.
I haven't taken action on the car yet.
Ultimately, if he chooses not to work or go to school, why should I continue to support him in any way? But at the same time, I don't want to cut off my relationship with my son.
What would you do?
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.