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Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

User Topic: women only plz
heforgotme
♀ 38391
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So. This is going to get TMI, so plz bail if you don't like that kind of stuff.

When I was fairly new here, I remember seeing a thread about grooming. Down there. And I am here to tell you that i don't know what they're talking about.

So. I would like to know what people consider reasonable in this regard. Especially for those close to 50, as i am.

I have never done anything "there".

Are we supposed to?????? And if so, WHAT????

Is it just part of personal hygiene or is it fetish-y??

Help......

Now off to click submit before i chicken out.....


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1085 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it really depends on personal taste.
Some folks prefer to go completely natural and don't do anything other than wash 'n go.
Others wax or shave all or some of the area.

Whatever makes you (and your partner) happy is the way to go. As long as everything is clean and healthy, there's no "right" answer.


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6687 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
bluelady
♀ 11061
Member # 11061
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really is personal preference.

I'm 35 and I've had it all. Full no grooming, all bare and everything in between.

My preference is some grooming. I feel better about myself that way. When I took it all off, I found the "growing in" stage a pain. If I shaved too soon (I'm afraid of waxing ), I would get razor burn, but the longer I waited, the itchier it would get down there.

So, now I trim. I use an electric trimmer to keep it short and I'll clean up the edges with a razor.

That being said...that's MY preference. I know a lot of women my age and younger who don't groom at all. One of them is quite "active" so she's not being turned away, if you catch my drift.

Do what makes you happy and confident is my advice.


Me (BS): 35

Divorced


Posts: 1472 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: a little bit of everywhere
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hated waxing when I did it. Ugh. Waste of time and money and I don't like the expectation!

No one (well, hardly anyone) has reacted adversely to what I do now, which is kind of minimal trimming done with a small, rounded off scissor pair. I just try to keep the hair from getting so long that it's in the way. And I find if I don't trim I get...uh..kind of a matted effect which is not to be desired for practical reasons alone. I do also shave the bikini line (outside of the underwear line, not inside).

But whatever you do, don't be self-conscious. Confidence is the key to sexiness and grooming is just a detail!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've had it all. Full no grooming, all bare and everything in between.

My preference is some grooming. I feel better about myself that way. When I took it all off, I found the "growing in" stage a pain. If I shaved too soon (I'm afraid of waxing ), I would get razor burn, but the longer I waited, the itchier it would get down there.


Ditto this.
I've tried just about everything (except waxing!).
My worst experience was when I shaved completely. It itched like hell as it grew back in and the stubble was like razor blades for a few days until it had sufficient growth to not poke in all the wrong places and at the wrong times!

I much prefer to just trim with a pair of scissors, keeping the hair very short, but not bald. In the summer, I'll use Nair along the bikini line (it lasts longer to me than shaving) to keep things neat for swimsuit season.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 2:11 PM, March 24th (Monday)]


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6687 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm almost 50 and I get a bikini wax every 6 weeks. I won't go back to shaving, it's so clean looking and lasts a while. I'm also a swimmer so I pretty much just leave a landing strip so no hair sneaks out. And I trim that myself.

Really is a personal preference. But if you get a good waxer it's not too bad.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5525 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
gypsybird87
♀ 39193
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is totally about personal preference. You should do whatever makes you feel sexy, clean, and good about yourself.

I have thick, crazy eyebrows that require waxing. The pain from that has convinced me that waxing "down below" is never going to happen for me. No.Way.In.Hell. I've also tried shaving and didn't like it. I found it too high maintenance. You either have to shave pretty much every day, or deal with prickly stubble. No thanks.

So I do what I call a "mow and edge" routine. Cleaning up around the edges, and trimming down short enough to be tidy but not so short that it's uncomfortable. It doesn't require daily maintenance either; once a week is fine. I've never had any complaints from partners, but if I did, sorry... too bad. I'm not going to alter my hygiene habits to something I don't like just to please a guy. Maybe in my 20s, yeah. But not now.

Oh, and the benefits of a good trimmer cannot be overstated. The whole process is easier and more fun with the right tool.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 1007 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been one to have a number of different styles in the nether regions. I find that I prefer a smooth shave once a week. I started clipping with my H's beard trimmer once a week in my 20's when I found it helped to stay cleaner during that time. When I started having real issues with my girl parts and was bleeding more than not I started shaving it as it was much easier for cleanliness.

I have waxed and while it hurts during, the end result is quite nice.

If you are unsure and want to try something different, and have ever been prone to ingrown hairs a smooth shave is probably not for you, but a nice close trim with the beard trimmers may be a fun change.

Some women go for the landing strip and shave everything else, I am not a fan of this myself, as I tend to get razor burn along my bikini line, and the parts that I enjoy smooth for sexy fun time are not.

But hey it's all up to you, and the good thing is if you don't like it, all you have to do is wait, it will grow back.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8798 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
purplejacket4
♀ 34262
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 7:10 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since I've done about 10,000 annuals and assorted women's exams I'll tell you it's just personal preference.

If you do shave it can spread warts, molloscum and cause folliculitis. But most people have no problem at all.

I've seen everything from bare to braided (not kidding). I've seen pubic hair dyed in different colors, shaved in assorted strange shapes, tats, rings, glitter spray, you name it!

[This message edited by purplejacket4 at 7:12 PM, March 24th (Monday)]


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2309 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Kelany
♀ 34755
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glitter????

I shave almost all but leave a small latch up top. It's what I've found comfortable to me over the years.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
CheshCat
♀ 27546
Member # 27546
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to be super blunt and graphic... Since you said you didn't know what they meant. TMI enacted :D

To start off with... Women have lots of different KINDS of pubic hair. Just like head hair. Some women's is thick and long, others have thin fine short hair. ALL of it is normal. Whether you've got less than a inch of downy fuzz, or 4 inches of thick hair.

Women tend to "landscape" for 1:2 reasons. Cleanliness or aesthetics.

"Keeping clean" is also something that's different for most women, because the type of hair they have dictates what is involved. Thick long coarse hair tends to mat with body fluids and toilet paper (from flocked like a Christmas tree to actual dreadlocks). Thin fine hair can lead to a buildup on the SKIN, instead of in the hair... Which can be extremely difficult to clean effective (like a dirty neck, but worse, because the hair makes it difficult to scrub the skin in a meaningful way).

Other women, meanwhile, have no issues keeping clean... As the hair doesn't cling, get covered in lint, tangle, or trap body fluids & dirt/oils. Normal bathing is more than enough to keep fresh & sanitary.

Removal of some, most, or all of the hair (see below for types) allows women who would have difficulty keeping clean, to keep themselves clean easily.

Aesthetics is the other main reason... And that's entirely personal preference. There tends to be "trends" in every generation, as well as in certain ethnic groups. Which is super normal / not new. Some cultures dyed (Egypt was fond of henna/red for example), others curled, cut shapes, braided, removed, perfumed, brushed poofy, coated in clay... You name it, and pretty much anything you can think of has been the "normal" way to sport one's pubic hair.

Our culture tends to focus on removal... So that's what I'm going to describe next:
_______________________

Removal

There are 3 main ways in which pubic hair is removed (although there are variations).
- Trimming (scissors, clippers, or electric razor)
- Shaving
- Waxing

All 3 ways can be done fully or partially.

_______________________


Here are a list of "parts"

Bikini Area... The area that is technically on the legs, but where thicker/darker pubic hair extends out to.

Front Triangle (also called "top") ... The area visable if you look at yourself in front of the mirror with your legs closed together.

Labia External (also called labes, sides, or bottom sides)... Think "dry". The area covered by your swimsuit. The entire outside strip.

Brazilian (also called both labia/labes, just to be confusing.)... Think "wet". The inside curve of your labia where the hair runs from clitorus to anus. (Yes. Brazilian waxing include removing hair from your anus.)... The entire inside strip.

_______________________

Okay.... So now we've got methods & parts.
From that... It's a mix & match grab bag of personal preference. However, the general trending. By generation :

Most women remove bikini hair (shaving or waxing).

50s - au naturale OR light trimming of bottom sides
30s - waxing or shaving of bottom sides &/or Brazilian, trimming of top triangle, often into "shapes" (triangle, landing strip, heart, etc.)
20s - Waxing or shaving off entirely (Top, bottom, Brazil).
Teens - Light trimming or au naturale AND "shapes" + dye.

_______________________

While there is pretty clear trending, significant portions of each population do their own thing. Either because they're blessed with easy hair, cursed with difficult hair, or they just like XYZ better than the abc, def, etc that "their" generation does (or their spouse likes it better).

In general, the only common denominator is that EVERYONE likes being clean & feeling pretty.

Chesh

[This message edited by CheshCat at 8:10 PM, March 24th (Monday)]


"Another conversation killed awkwardly! Yes! Point to my side." - Chesh's Brother

Moi : BS MH 30mumble
Him : WS Abuse Adultery Addict Six-figure Sociopath = Aaass
... I picked a winner!
DDay - 2006 ad naseam
Divorced! 2013


Posts: 571 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: West Coast US
Chrysalis123
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I do what I call a "mow and edge" routine.

Can't stop laughing......


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2781 | Registered: Jan 2010
hurtbs
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do what you are comfortable with! It's not about what other people think, it's about you.
My preference for the opposite sex is that they at least groom, keep it neat.

Me, I did laser on everything - keep it entirely clean. However, that's my preference.

You do what you want. There is no 'supposed to' with pubic hair. In fact, my gynecologist said that going bare has led to a prevalence of yeast and bacterial infections, as well as general irritation because we are *supposed* to have hair there to protect our genitals!


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
heforgotme
♀ 38391
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys. Where else could I ask a question like this??? lol

And thanks especially for not making me feel stupid for not knowing.


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1085 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
Crescita
♀ 32616
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't remember the title or author/artist, but when I was in college some 10ish years ago there was a popular art book of photos of women's pubic styling. The idea behind it was that there is no one right way. If you are curious about options, it had plenty.

I don't want to google search for it at work, but if you ever find yourself in a university library it's not bad for a quick browse. It's more art than pornography if you appreciate the distinction.


“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Posts: 3533 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
MissesJai
♀ 24849
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where else could I ask a question like this???
in OT where you get at least 5 replies


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 6028 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
getnbtr1
♀ 40540
Member # 40540
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm also in the camp that uses an electric trimmer to keep it short and cleans up the edges with a razor. I have a "landing strip", which is a relatively thin strip/line that runs across the top front and ends where my....um....lips part. I keep everything below that shaved clean. Having tried lots of other alternatives, this seems to work best for me. But have some fun experimenting!! I started by narrowing that strip further and further until I found what worked/looked/felt best for me. Best part....it grows back so if you don't like your latest creation, no big deal!

Posts: 99 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: CT
tothineownself
♀ 20158
Member # 20158
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am also 50, have "sported" all the different trends and support what feels right to you and your partner is what is right for you.

As a "warm-up" to intimacy I have even let partners style me how they wish. It was really fun!
It will always grow back and I am pretty open to anything.

I also read an article that said the incidence of pubic lice "crabs" has reduce significantly with the new trend of removing pubic hair completely.

If you look at any modern porn, the look is all hair removed. Men are visual and like to see the "parts".

I have also been told that it makes oral sex easier for the partner.

Personally I HATE it when men shave, down-there, completely and think they DO look like little boys. TOTAL turn-off!!!


”This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”-Shakespeare-Hamlet
Forget the pants,( you weren't wearing them anyway!)
It's liar, liar SOUL's on FIRE!!

Posts: 54 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: illinois
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you do shave it can spread warts, molloscum and cause folliculitis. But most people have no problem at all.

Folliculitis here...yep. I have really sensitive skin and ended up having to go to the Dr. What a fiasco that turned out to be...don't use a dull razor


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5242 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Joanh
♀ 39146
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

another option out there is laser, it is one of the longer lasting and can be done in many of the styles listed.

It is my favorite and I am 44. you need darker hair for it too work though and be willing to lay fairly exposed. :-)

But it give a very smooth finish with no burn, make sure you fill your skin analysis card out.

I do a mix of brazillian and landinging a lot of time I wax myself. Its awkward and you have to psych yourself up to it but worth it. The combination of waxing and laser is awesome.

My Husband loves it to. It adds to the feeling for me as well I find.

Good luck:-)


BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....

Posts: 437 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 21
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