Me - 43
I honestly believed in our vows - for better or worse. My WH and I have no kids of our own, but he has two and I have one. Throughout the years, our kids have given us some issues. Some issues have been worse than others (police involvement, court ordered counseling both in home and out, running away...) And that was his kids. There were some really rough days years ago. Recently, my 22 y/o son moved back home with his current girlfriend and her 4 y/o daughter (not his). They had been kicked out of where they were living and nowhere else to go. I told them that night that this wasn't a forever setting and that they needed to work on moving on to their own place. This was last September. Both of them have some personal and mental issues that impede them from functioning well from time to time. There have been some days of awful turmoil in this house and I've hated it. There were days I hated coming home because I didn't know what to expect out of them. I kept trying to encourage them to get jobs and keep trying even when things seemed tough to them. They had a couple of jobs and have lost them. There are times and days that it seems like it's never ending.
Well, through all of this, I never once thought my WH was pulling away from me and this situation. I was by his side and even handled a lot of his kids issues on my own through those rough times years ago. I figured this was just another rough time that would pass sooner or later and we would just help each other make it through.
I've learned that he was talking to the OW about all of this and how much he hated being here at the house. I'm sure she encouraged his hatred. He told one of his coworkers that this situation here in the house is why he fell in love with the OW and left.
Why didn't he tell me?? He told me that "I'm hard to talk too and get too defensive" on the second day after dday. He has yet to tell me himself why he's done what he's done to me. I only heard it through the grapevine and I'm shocked that he didn't think that it would get back to me. I thought we were a team. I guess our vows weren't as important to him.
It's yet another knife being stabbed through my gut. How dare he talk to the OW about our personal stuff?? I'm so confused and feel even more lost than ever. He's gone but I'm still here with the existing situation of my son and his girlfriend. They have stepped up even more since dday and I'm so thankful that they've been here. I probably would not have even gotten out of bed if they hadn't been here to make me. They currently have a job that earns more than I do. Hopefully they'll be on their road to savings for their own place.
I feel like I'm in a downward spiral. I'm still left to pick up the shattered pieces of my life while he doesn't have to face anything that he left behind.
WH - 41
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together 11yrs
Status - Divorce from the ass is in progress!
You can see more of my story on my blog here: http://thatcraftylunchlady.com/?p=833
"Never give up hope and let time heal you"