Meaning, my WH came home one night, told me he was having an affair, has fallen in love with the OW, said he didn't want to try to work it out with me, and left that night. He left his car keys, house keys, most of his clothing, etc. He's been back and gathered a few other things. He has not instigated contact with me, but we have had contact and conversations. Just yesterday I became determined to not contact him unless it's a house emergency or I need more money.
Has anyone else had their WS do this to them? If so, how did it play out? What did you do? It feels to me like he was already over me and our marriage and that there is no hope for R.
However, right up to the morning of dday, he never acted any differently towards me and still told me he loved me. He has since told me he still loves me. I guess I'm still hoping that not all is lost. I just can't accept that this is happening and that what we had is gone...
You can see more of my story on my blog here: http://thatcraftylunchlady.com/?p=833
"Never give up hope and let time heal you"
Are you certain that he is not doing weird things with joint marital assets or otherwise jeopardizing your security?
Please look after yourself - emotionally, physically and financially.
Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11
[This message edited by SeekingPeace84 at 8:16 PM, March 24th (Monday)]
I filed for divorce that week, because I knew she was too lazy. She actually told me she was already over things because she had time to think.
The love of her life left her within a month. She invited me over for sex after, and eventually asked to get back together before her second rehab. I declined since I was getting married the next week.
First as others have said, protect yourself.
Either something has happened to his A and he wants to come crawling back or he is trying to dupe you.
The only other thing I can think of is that he "loves you" as in cares for you but still doesn't want to R.
I would just call him out and aks him directly. If there isnt a great answer then I think he has made it pretty clear you need to start D.
In which case he is still 'in your good books' and can come back to the family home.
Or could be he just feels like a jerk and is trying to make it u to you. by financially supporting you it relives some of his guilt. THAT I have experience with (via WH)...
But you NEED to get to a lawyer - PRONTO.
It's hard to believe he'd just leave everything he's got a financial interest in just to run off to his OW. Eventually when the star-dust settles, he's going to start looking to get what's his - and then some. And how long do you think she's going to be willing to support him week after week after week while he throws all his money at you? That's going to get REAL old, REAL fast for her.
Please believe me when I tell you I truly know how badly your world has been turned upside down and how chaotic everything no doubt is for you. But it can get a lot WORSE even if you don't believe that now. It can, and most probably WILL.
Get to a lawyer.