SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

BTrade posted 3/24/2014 22:26 PM

It's been 3 and 1/2 years since my world was shattered with the loss of my wife and family because she chose to be with another. Today I was writing something to myself and realized how far I have come. I decided to share it here in hopes that some of you might find a small bit of comfort in knowing that your misery will not last forever. This is what I told myself:

I do not want to look back on my life and count up the time I spent pining over girls and relationships that didn't work out. My life won't mean anything if I spend it being unhappy about failed relationships instead of making good things happen. Regain the vigor and the ambition and the drive to do awesome things! Focus on the things you want to have instead of focusing on the things you don't. Don't shut off your heart, but fill your life with things to do - things to accomplish - things to try - things to experience. Don't spend your life searching for the perfect girlfriend or wife --- be the kind of amazing person that THEY will find YOU!!!!

Give forgiveness to those who need it - whether they want it or not. They don't have a choice in terms of you giving it --- if they don't accept it, don't let that change the verdict. Let them go. Be happy. Be happy for them. Give yourself hope for a happy future instead of letting anxiety ruin your moment. Live for the future and in the future. Don't live in the past and don't settle for the present. Start pursuing dreams and see how many of them you can make come true.

Pump yourself up. You've been around just long enough to seize opportunities you never knew existed and to create some of your own. And maybe someday you'll be giving opportunities to people instead of looking for them.

Be a good person. Live proud of who you are. Be kind and not cocky and love everyone around you. And when you can't love them, have compassion, and if you can't give them any compassion, then respect your differences, and if you can't respect them, then survive peaceably apart from one another. Or at least try.

It's ok to hurt. Don't feel like you've slid backwards when you do. Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep on trying to make your life better. If you do, I promise you --- it will get better!!!!!

And don't forget - this all can't happen in one day. As much as you want to make it happen now, or may want to give up sometimes -- don't give up. Keep going and keep going and you will find your happy place. Look back on your life and feel about this period of life the same way you feel when someone from back home remembers such good things about you that you didn't even know about. Be a good man. You will win in the long run, guaranteed.

[This message edited by BTrade at 10:29 PM, March 24th (Monday)]

SeekingPeace84 posted 3/24/2014 22:32 PM

Thank you so much.