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Microscopic posted 3/26/2014 07:00 AM

Hello, my name is mia. Me and husband have joined this forum. I recently discovered husband having relationship. Extremely difficult for me. I have health issues as we'll. looking for support. I have gone to counseling but find it difficult to express myself as the experience was so traumatic. This forum was suggested. Thank u, mia and. Scott

justinpaintoday posted 3/26/2014 07:20 AM

Welcome to both of you. The fact that you both are here is encouraging. Please look to the left in the Healing Library. There are a ton of resources.

You will find a loving and caring group for both of you. Most here will be envious of a spouse willing to repent and heal. You both will need to heal. Be assured any and all questions will be answerred lovingly and honestly.

You are in for a journey and it will take time but be assured you can make it. Post often and read others. Participate and be assured we will stand by you both as you work to heal.

Microscopic posted 3/26/2014 07:44 AM

Thank you. I am having hard time with this. I feel helpless and used. Very traumatic for me.

Take2 posted 3/26/2014 07:54 AM

Traumatic is a good word for it, and some here have been diagnosed with PTSD due to the betrayal of an A. You aren't alone! What lies ahead is going to be hard, for both of you... Deep breath - one step at a time... Welcome to SI.

confused615 posted 3/26/2014 07:57 AM

Being betrayed is traumatic.

When was your dday? What is WH doing to help you heal? To heal himself? And the marriage?

Is he NC(no contact) with the OW?

Has he been tested for STD's? You too?

Is he completely open and transparent with you? Do you have full access to ALL of his accounts? Cell? Email? Facebook?

Is he answering all of your questions without blame or anger?

Is he taking full responsibility for his decision to cheat?

Is he in IC to figure out his why?

It takes 3-5 years to heal from infidelity. But with a remorseful WS, and a lot of hard work, you can survive. The early days are the hardest. Make sure you are eating, drinking water, and getting some rest.

Welcome to SI.

[This message edited by confused615 at 7:57 AM, March 26th (Wednesday)]

norabird posted 3/26/2014 10:10 AM

Hi, Mia. I'm sorry you had to come here. You're right, it is a trauma. First things first, is the A over? Have you both committed to healing each other? If the A is still ongoing or if there's indecision, it's a different road. But if you are both committed healing is possible, with transparency, counseling, and patience.

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