To yearsofpain25
I hear you. I can tell just by your signature the war you were put in by your parent's cowardliness has left untold damages.
This is such a tough thing. People, at times in their life, are so vulnerable especially as children. We are left unprotected and the results are very real. Sometimes the damages are so severe there is no healing from. They take limbs off and we have to learn how to go on without a vital part of our existence. My heart goes out to you and know you are not alone. You are in like-company. Look around you long enough and you will see others who are living their lives without a vital piece of themselves, learning how to manage when others have their whole selves.
My hope for myself and everyone out there who is a BS, that we have the wisdom to go through this process with patience and resolve. And especially to the BSs who's WS has jumped ship - we are a special bunch - learn to let go and what that means. Learn to own your shit and let them own theirs. Accept the death for what it is and do not let resentment build in your heart, but instead understanding and resolve to heal. You may not have been wise enough to reach your spouse before they gave up, but you have the heart to continue the fight and are NOT the one who ran from your battles. Remember, we are still in the fight, breathing, LIVING, and the rewards are immense. Our WS are the ones who bailed and will eventually realize they took the path which cannot lead to anything other than further misery. Your pain is finite while their is infinite till they turn around and start fighting themselves. The following lyrics speak true to our situation and I hope you find comfort.
"Say Something"
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something...
[This message edited by justme1264 at 4:27 PM, March 26th (Wednesday)]